My Story

Who am i? Where am i? Why am i?

I am a child of the universe. Born in Estonia, to make a difference. At least that’s what i believe.. I believe, we all have a difference to make in this life, small or big. Difference i’m trying to make seems impossible for me, but i’m aiming for it, like never before. I like how Walt Disney said: ‘’It’s kind of fun, to do the impossible.‘’

First of all, i’m trying to conquer myself, my mind and my body. At the moment i’m aiming for Estonian Championships in Bikini Fitness, what takes place in 31.october.2015. 2 years back from today i was living wreck. I was drinking, smoking and hanging around. Burning time, burning life.. At some point i met my ex-boyfriend, who started to motivate me to go training with him. Well it took me 1–2 months to finally step into gym, because my fear of ‘’everybody is gonna look at me’’ was pushing me away from the idea of starting. After 2 months i couldn’t find any new excuses, i really went there and i kicked ass! I kicked ass so hard, that until today i am addicted to training. I love it! If i could, i would earn money with training, because i could do it every day, many times a day. The feeling it gives me, is unexplainable. Ah, what training you are thinking? Well honey, lifting and strenght training ofcourse! Training refreshes my body, it gives my mind clearness and it makes me feel alive. Thanks to training i don’t want to drink anymore, i don’t smoke already 2 years and i’m really starting to hate parties and all kind of drunk people who don’t know their limit. I mean like, what kind of life or future are you thinking of, if you don’t know your limits? I believe when i can conquer my mind and body, i can do anything and not only me, you too! ☺

‘Me (75kg) and my deskmate 2012 june graduation.

Secondly i want to inspire and help people achive their dreams. I want to make them dream big, love, live and laugh. It makes me sad to see people around, who only complain and feel jelous. Stop it! You can do what ever you want in this amazing world and you choose to complain? Or to be jelous of somebody who already have reached their happiness?

Let me tell you, the mind is everything and if you feed it with your creepy negative thoughts, your life will turn into it and this is pretty bad. But if you just change your state of mind, from negative to optimistic and start seeing good in everything and everybody around you, the world will do the same for you.

Now ofcourse you think i’m some Jesus child or fan of Allah. But no, i’m not. I have no religion, the only religion i have is kindness and i really belive everybody should try the same.

Me at my ideal weight(65kg) in november 2014

Now third of all you all know i’m a girl on a mission, but why i started writing? Especially, why i started writing in english? Well, friend of mine recommended it to me and some people have asked me, do i keep a blog, that it would be interesting to read. Until today, i had only instagram ( but from now on, i’m gonna try blogging also. I have many things to say, but i see no point of talking and repeating myself if nobody listens. So i’m gonna write it all nicely down and hope for the best.

Reason why i write in english is simple, i am aiming for world wide audience. Estonia is very small country with a population of 1,3 million people and most of us can read in english, because we are really smart and well educated people, trying to reach out for the world.

Lastly i’m gonna tell you little about myself, then you know who’s that girl talkin’ in here. Actually i don’t really like to talk about myself, but for once i can do it. I’m 21 year old girl, 174cm high and at the moment 73kg. I love music, especially funky, soul, tech house, good rap & hip/hop. I belive i could not train so hard, if i would not have my ‘’Demolish’’ playlist. Besides music, i love nature, i could spend millions of hours looking at stars or crazy sea waves. It takes me away, cleans my mind and it’s like somekind of meditation for me. I love food, cooking and all of it’s rich world and to be said, i don’t eat meat. I eat sometimes fish, but like once a week or two. So i am ovo-lacto vegetarian/pesco-vegetarian. This have been going on for 2 year and i keep going.

My kind of perfect morning. Buckwheat with vegetables in curry-coconut cream sauce.

Not to be mentioned i am insane taking photos and i’m gonna only post pictures from my collection, made by me. What else, ah yes! I am crazy about tattoos, piercings, fierce women and people with swag. By swag i don’t mean bitches wearing Louis Vuitton, but i mean really cool people, who have attitude, but at the same time they stay classy. They have their own point of views but they are never dumb enough to push them on others. They wear rebellion clothes and still fucking look cool. These kind of people i honor. What else.. Poker, my god i love poker. If i could choose my second full time job, it would be poker. This feeling of winning and then again losing.. Both so powerful feelings, yet so opposite. I love to feel deeply, i like to get hard, go all in and take it all. I’m that kind of girl, who doesn’t accept no as an answer and maybe as a option. I am here to live!

Estonian Championships 2015 in Texas Hold’em (women only) 27. place out of 49.
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