How to Gain Confidence in the World of Judgment

Are you wanting to change course? Are you fearing judgement for doing so?

Confidence is like having a special kind of power inside you. It’s the feeling that you can handle things, even if they seem tricky. Even when you feel it’s like you against the world. Imagine having a secret superpower! When you’re confident, you stand taller, your voice is stronger, and you believe in yourself. How would you like to be able to turn only to yourself for wisdom and guidance that will steer you onto the right path and you no longer seek validation from everyone else! Finally marching to the beat of your own drum!

This can be a big pill to swallow for some. I still get it caught in my throat from time to time. But let’s unpack this to see how we can get better at it!

What Is Confidence?

Confidence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about knowing that it’s okay to make mistakes or do something new or be uniquely you because that’s how we learn and grow.

Confidence is like a magic shield against self-doubt and fear. It helps you take on challenges and try new things. When you have confidence, you don’t give up easily. Instead, you keep going, even when things get tough especially when you feel people are judging you or will judge you.

Sometimes the thought of receiving judgement will keep you stuck! It sure has for me! Especially if you are a people pleaser or a perfectionist! When you were growing up, you may have learned that you got positive attention when you did something that pleased someone else, following their path, doing what they told you to do, doing what you were told was the right thing to do. And if you were like me, you were doing those things really well, in the process we lost ourselves. We lost TRUST in ourselves because we are so used to turning to everyone else and seek validation. This is especially hard when we desire to try something new on our own path. We have been on someone else’s path for so long, we grew accustomed to the old path and their direction and approval of it.

Guess what! They don’t really know YOU! Only YOU know YOU! They only know their perception of you. How can they give YOU the BEST advice?

So if you decide to change something like your relationship/marriage, career, where you live, your looks, your gender; anything that takes you off the beaten path of what is normally approved of in your circle, your tribe, your community, your family, your culture, or the general “human herd” there is literally very few to really be a true sounding board when your soul is calling you to change paths. Marching to the beat of your own drum feels lonely at first, but you are drawn to it like a moth to a flame. If you do take the new path, it’s super scary and uncertain. If you don’t take it, you will have this inner battle and feel out of alignment with your soul.

I have been there. I left a marriage after 18 years and had two beautiful children who were preteens. My leaving was such a big step for me it took me four years to gain the courage to leave. Confidence, no, but my courage at least got me out the door. Out the door and into a May December relationship. For those of you who don’t know what that means, May December is a relationship between two people that is not typical. A couple whose ages are significantly years apart (age gap), have opposing religions or culture, are two difference races, are the same sex, but May December typically means age gap.

I began my relationship with my other half 17 years ago and we are 20 years apart. We got hit from all sides. No one believed our relationship was something to be continued. “It’s only a fling”, “What could you possibly have in common?”, “It won’t last”, “What if you have children?”, “What if you don’t let him have children?”, “Why would he want to be with you?”

This was the first time I really stepped out and trusted myself in how he and I both felt. We fell for all the judgement and nay sayers and it broke us up a time or two, but our alignment with our souls would not let us waiver and we soon were back together.

We began to fully believe in our relationship and ourselves.

The Role of Self-Belief

Imagine that self-belief is the key to your confidence. It’s about trusting yourself, just like how you trust your best friend. When you believe in yourself, you can face anything — big waves of challenges or tiny ripples of doubt.

But sometimes, self-belief needs a little boost. That’s okay! We’ll explore how to fill your self-belief tank and keep it topped up. Remember, even superheroes have moments of doubt, but they believe in themselves, and so can you!

You can have a TON of confidence in one area of your life and self doubt in another!

Dealing with Judgment from Others

Have you ever had someone say something not so nice about you? It can feel like a storm cloud on a sunny day. But guess what? You have an umbrella — a way to protect yourself from those cloudy comments.

Dealing with judgment from others is about knowing that not everyone will understand or appreciate you, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s like knowing that it’s ok to like some flavors of ice cream and not like other flavors. We’re all unique. I can think of a few flavors I can live without and I have no FOMO about it! (Fear Of Missing Out)

We’ll learn how to use that umbrella of self-confidence to keep those cloudy comments (or ice cream) from soaking you. With the right tools, you can smile through the rain.

Understanding Self-Judgment

Sometimes, we can be our own worst critics. Oh my! Especially if you are a perfectionist!! We look in the mirror and see flaws instead of fabulousness. We will beat everyone to the punch! But remember, you’re a one-of-a-kind masterpiece!

Understanding self-judgment is about being kind to yourself. Imagine your thoughts as friendly cheerleaders instead of harsh judges. We’ll discover how to change those critical thoughts into encouraging ones.

When others judge us, it can feel like a strong wind trying to blow away our confidence. We might doubt ourselves and feel small. But here’s the secret: your confidence is like a sturdy tree with deep roots.

We’ll explore how to stand strong, even in the face of judgment. With the right techniques, you can keep your confidence firmly rooted, no matter how strong the winds of judgment blow.

Building Confidence from Within

Imagine confidence as a ladder, and each rung is a small goal you achieve. Climbing one step at a time, you reach new heights. When you set achievable goals, you’re giving yourself a roadmap to confidence.

We’ll explore how to set these small, reachable goals that will boost your confidence little by little. It’s like collecting shiny pebbles on a path — they all add up to something beautiful.

Our confidence that grew was that we both agreed our feelings had not changed. We agreed on a new norm. One that WE enjoyed; not everyone else. It was not easy, but easier than not being together.

Confidence is like a treasure chest, and each small goal you achieve is a precious gem you collect. Instead of seeking validation from others, you can create a treasure trove of self-assurance.

One powerful way to do this is by setting achievable goals. These are like stepping stones on your confidence journey. Each time you reach a goal, you’ll discover a newfound sense of accomplishment and belief in your abilities.

Imagine you want to improve your sales presentation skills. Instead of aiming to head up a huge presentation in front of a large group, set a smaller goal like making a warm sales calls, then meet those whom you have met and do a one on one presentation. As you meet these goals, your confidence in your sales abilities will grow. You’re not relying on others to tell you that you’re a good salesperson; you’re proving it to yourself.

Positive Self-Talk

Your words are like magic spells; a super power. Positive self-talk is about using these spells or super power to boost your confidence. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” you’ll say, “I can do this, and I’ll give it my best!”

We’ll learn how to use these magic words to create a circle of positivity around you. With each positive thought, you’ll become more confident. Right them in a journal. I highly recommend it and you will see the progress there. I remember wanting to live together with my man and then looked back later at my old journal while sitting in our dream home we had just purchased! I had written in my journal how we would be and what we were doing and how it didn’t matter what everyone else thought. We knew we had a bond no one could break. Confidence breeds manifestation of your dreams.

Your thoughts have incredible power. They can either lift you up or bring you down. Positive self-talk is like a friendly voice inside your head, always cheering you on.

Instead of seeking validation from others’ compliments, you can validate yourself through positive self-talk.

Imagine it’s your personal cheerleader, saying things like, “I am smart,” “I am strong,” and “I am capable.”

When you catch yourself thinking negatively, try to replace those thoughts with positive ones. For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I can’t do this,” change it to “I can do this, and I’ll give it my best effort.” Over time, these positive affirmations become your inner strength, boosting your self-esteem and confidence.

Overcoming Challenges

Challenges are like puzzle pieces in your confidence-building adventure. They might seem tough, but they’re opportunities to grow stronger.

We’ll explore how to face challenges head-on, like an explorer on a daring expedition. With the right tools, you’ll not only overcome challenges but also grow your confidence along the way.

Life is full of challenges, and facing them is a chance to build your confidence from within. Instead of seeking validation from others when you succeed, look inward for the strength to overcome obstacles.

Imagine a video game where each level gets a little harder. With every challenge you conquer, your character becomes more powerful. Life’s challenges are like those levels — they make you stronger.

When you encounter difficulties, remember that they are opportunities to grow. Instead of fearing them, embrace them as chances to show yourself what you’re made of. This mindset shift helps you rely less on external validation and more on your inner resilience.

By focusing on setting achievable goals, using positive self-talk, and embracing challenges, you’ll gradually reduce the need for validation from external sources. Instead, you’ll find that your trust and love for yourself grow stronger, and you become your greatest source of validation.

Building Confidence from Within: Trust and Self-Love

Building confidence from within is like cultivating a beautiful garden in your heart. Instead of relying on the opinions of others to water your self-esteem, you nourish it yourself.

By setting achievable goals, you create a track record of success that speaks to your abilities, reducing the need for external validation. Positive self-talk becomes your inner cheerleader, reinforcing your worth, and helping you believe in your capabilities.

Challenges are embraced as opportunities to prove your resilience, reinforcing your self-reliance. As you cultivate these aspects, you’ll find that seeking validation from others becomes less important, and your trust and love for yourself grow stronger.

My love and I would not be where we are today had we not marched to the beat of our own drum. We are happier than most couples I know and had we succumbed to not following our own inner wisdom and confidence, we would have missed out on the life we built together. We still, to this day, do not seek advice or opinions of our relationship externally. We work on ourselves with ourselves and this eliminates others from tarnishing what we have built or want because they don’t KNOW us. Only WE know our relationship best. We KNOW ourselves BEST. And if you don’t feel you do, it’s crucial to start learning!

Summary

In the world of judgment, confidence is your secret superpower. It’s not about being perfect or relying on others to validate your worth. Instead, it’s about understanding what confidence is, facing judgment with self-assurance, and building your confidence from within.

You set achievable goals to collect gems of accomplishment, use positive self-talk to be your own cheerleader, and embrace challenges as chances to grow. This journey transforms you into a source of your own validation, rooted in trust, self-love, and able to march to the beat of your own drum!

Remember, your self-worth doesn’t depend on what others think. You are a unique and valuable person just as you are. Keep believing in yourself, and you’ll navigate the world of judgment with a resilient and confident heart.

If you have any more questions or need further guidance, feel free to ask. Confidence is a journey, and you’re on the right path!

If you would like to learn more about how to face your fears by discovering who you really are, how have less chaos, less drama, more peace and confidence, less overwhelm and more purpose, less scarcity and more abundance, then you will enjoy my new Create HAPPY Mediations APP available now!

In this app you will find the Moment Maker’s HAPPY Method! HAPPY stands for Happiness/Abundance/Peace/Purpose/Yes! to life!

Become a Moment Maker too by Clicking here to join the others who want to start BEing HAPPY!

It’s a journey and I am here to help you one step at a time and give you encouragement, because I have been where you are and I AM WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. Cheering you on to have the HAPPY life you desire and deserve!

A HAPPY Life awaits you my Moment Maker!

Much love,

Susan