The Power of Truth
From constant fear
This was no occurrence.
Instead, a lifestyle.
Who knew of
This is no occurrence.
Instead, a lifestyle.
I wrote this poem yesterday as part of my 100 days project, but it encompasses a much larger story. My whole life, I have dealt with anxiety. Not only have I experienced the average, did-I-study-enough-for-this-test anxiety, but fear that controlled my very existence.
Being diagnosed in high school was probably one of the greatest breakthroughs I had experienced because I was finally medicated and able to live a semi-normal life. However, fear still gripped me in many ways. Driving long distances or to new places would have me curled up crying or stricken with thoughts of the worst possible scenario. Even the idea of feeling nauseous would send me into a tail-spin of no return. Mint flavored gum became not only a preference but a staple to ward off tummy troubles. I needed comfort, peace, and reassurance before making any decision.
What happened, then? Why am I telling you this?
Last month, I went to a worship night, and the fear I had been a slave to these many years was broken down.
After a few songs, a worship leader shared with us a dream God had given him the night prior. He said God showed him the congregation as if through thermal goggles. There were “hot spots” depicting people in need of healing. While he gestured loosely to illustrate where those areas were, it seemed like he pointed in my direction. I brushed it off as coincidence.
The pastor and his wife came up, and she shared a powerful story about being freed from the spirit of fear and anxiety. In her early twenties, she was so bogged down by fear that she had various infirmities including fibromyalgia and back issues. One night, a panic attack came on so strong she could hardly tap her husband’s shoulder to ask for prayer. He reluctantly woke up and was so fed up with the enemy’s hold on her life that he said, “That’s it. We are praying this out right now.”
She repented of letting fear control her, renounced the spirit of fear and anxiety, and received God’s spirit of love, power, and a sound mind.
As they prayed, she felt as if a snake skin was shed from her toes to the top of her head, and a wave of peace washed over her. When her husband asked how she felt, she simply responded with, “Tired…” and fell asleep.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
Over the following weeks and months, every physical ailment she had experienced was gone. Not only that, but she was emboldened and filled with immense joy. The transformation was uncanny.
Once she finished telling us her testimony, her husband came back up and challenged, “With all eyes open and heads up, would everyone who wants to be set free from the spirit of fear tonight raise their hands?” I raised mine.
As a group, we proceeded to pray through the same set of things, and the power of the Holy Spirit brought me to tears. Still overcome with emotion, I boldly proclaimed God’s work in my own life. He brought me freedom. He brought me peace. He brought me an incredible joy that I had so longed for. It was then that I realized I no longer served fear as a master but the living God Who loves unconditionally. All of this was made possible through Jesus’ sacrifice and Spirit-led prayer.
The drive back home showed me God’s love in a new way. When semi-trucks and other cars passed by, a bubble of joy swelled up within me. Up until this time, any situation like that would have caused me to cringe in fear. This time, all I could do was giggle as I realized the power of Jesus’ healing in my life.
I’m not going to say I haven’t had an ounce of fear since. That would be lying to you. There are still areas of my life that I have to continually surrender to God’s redemption. Habits don’t break easily, and fear was a lifestyle for me — something difficult to overcome. But, the power of Jesus Christ through prayer was released on me that evening in a new way, and I am pursuing His freedom daily.
The poem that began this post exemplifies one minuscule piece of my life that I wanted to share with you as an act of boldness and a way to connect. Perhaps you are struggling with fear or some other scheme of the enemy. Maybe you’ve stepped away from faith because you stopped believing in the power of the Holy Spirit. Or, maybe you just needed encouragement today. Whatever place you’re in, I hope God meets you there as He met me during the worship night and every day since. And, ultimately, I pray you will be transformed by His healing power and grace.
You are loved, and God has joy and freedom in store for you.