Becoming the me I want

As of lately I have been quite fascinated by the mere fact that as human being we can grow to what ever we want to be. Just as Henry David Thoreau said

“ I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavour.”

I feel inspired everyday to become better by those words. From the above quote what I take to heart most though is the fact that it has to be a conscious endeavour. An intense commitment to becoming the best you.

In the quest of being the best me I have found a few guiding principles that I seek everyday to adhere to in order for me to move closer to the best me.

The principles are: 
1. The ability to choose
2. The uncomfortable reality of introspection
3. Listening more than I speak
4. Being stubborn (I will explain, so don’t be alarmed.)

1. The ability to choose

That intense commitment begins with one making a choice and I have made that choice. The choice to become the best me. One thing I have realised is that I am the sum of all the choices that I have made in the past and my future is largely dependent on the choices I make today. At first it is always feels like a harsh reality but with time you tend to appreciate the liberty that comes from it. You might not control what happens to you but you can control how you react. And to me that is true freedom.
So it goes with out question that every decision that I make must be me laying a brick towards the me I want be.

2. The uncomfortable reality of introspection

One of the things I quickly realised when I realised I had so much freedom was that there was so much responsibility bundled with it. There are many unfortunate things that have happened in my life that I could blame for my short comings. But one has to man up, and understand that with every bad decision I made there was a point where I had the opportunity to choose otherwise and yet I didn’t. With us humans it is easy to blame someone else when something goes wrong but take credit when something goes right even though in all honestly it was just some dumb luck. So I have accepted the responsibility of looking inside before I point at something in the outside. It is uncomfortable at first but one learns to look at the bright side and focus on what needs to be improved.

3. Listening more than I speak

That reality of introspection is more or less me learning to listen to myself. Being a Christian, I find that the bible is written for me. It always offers me ways to better improve myself and move towards that me that I want. It covers the entire spectrum of my existence but thats a talk for another day.

I have always been a very opinionated person who likes to have good conversations. Sometimes those conversations tend to be heated debates where egos bump heads with no end in sight.

I learnt with time though that there is more to learn when one listens. And it is easier to get one’s point across when one listens attentively. I can confidently claim that every month I increasingly become a better listener. And I must say it is very fulfilling journey.

4. Being Stubborn

The word stubborn is a negative word in itself but here to me it represents something quite different. I used the word stubborn to symbolise the intensity of the feeling towards my chosen direction in life.
 The word stubborn is defined as “ having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good reasons to do so”.
I have chosen a path that I chose to be stubborn about. Up until I feel that what ever I am doing is not moving closer to the me I want to be, only then will I relax that stubbornness. My integrity to my chosen path matter more than what people think or might say. Integrity to oneself should be a way of life.

I applied this principle in overcoming certain habits that I had and did not like. One of the habits was smoking. During my years growing up I chose to smoke cigarettes and it then developed into a habit. A habit I ended up resenting and as you might know, quitting is not as easy as it sounds. Though after a moment of introspection and realising that I am literally violating my body I then decided to quit. I had tried before but it never worked out but this time I realised that my integrity to myself matters more. 
I sometimes chill with friend and they smoking and usually they offer me a puff. And what do I always say, NO. Why? because my integrity to myself matters more. I chose a path and my success is my ability to stay on that path with complete and unwavering integrity.

These principles are not the only principles I live by but I feel they are the ones that stand out the most at this point in time in my life as I fight my personal battles. I fight my battles in private for I know my victories will be evident to the world before I utter a single word.

Another choice I made is to learn how to be a writer. I would appreciate it if you would help me grow in this too. My commitment is to always find time to write as much as I can.

You can contact me on twitter or drop me an email. Thanks for honouring me with your attention.