Game of Thoughts S7 E2

It’s shit when you spent six seasons heading somewhere and then when you finally do, it’s raining. You can tell Daenerys is regretting wasting so much time on her Meereen experiment — she could’ve spent seasons 5 & 6 tanning on the beaches of Dragonstone instead. It would’ve still been better than listening to the sand snakes.

To vent her aggression at the weather, she accuses Varys of disloyalty. It’s tough for Daenerys to conceive of a servant who doesn’t just follow blindly because they’re completely besotted by her. But she needs people like Varys: who follow her because they believe she is the best choice for ruler of Westeros.

The gradual nullification of the Varys/Littlefinger dispute has annoyed me since they both left King’s Landing. Their little competition to see who’s the most Machiavellian encompassed 90% of the Game during the first three or four seasons, and the show dramatized it exquisitely. Now Littlefinger is a friendzoned pervert hanging out in crypts, and Varys is mostly a blurry orange balloon in the corner of shots focusing on Daenerys. So it was bloody good to have a scene with Varys front and centre, sticking up for his selfless principles in front of the most savage criticism he’s so far had to withstand.

“Incompetence should not be rewarded with blind loyalty. As long as I have my eyes, I’ll use them.”

Daenerys’ parting strike, her assurance that she’ll burn him alive should he ever betray her, was a little too prophetic for my liking. And talking of flames, who happens to come strolling through the doors but Melisandre, who’s now preaching about The Prince Who Was Promised v3.0: a combination of Daenerys and Jon Snow. An endorsement from Melisandre is hardly valuable currency these days, but the Mother of Dragons seems interested. Up in the north, Jon is similarly interested in heading south, hearing that the weather is much better down there. Sansa voices her objections:

“You can’t! You’ve been elected the King in the North: you need to stay in the North, protect your people, and rule.”

“While I’m gone, you’ll be in charge.”

“Ok then, bye.”

And off Jon trots, with Davos in tow. Seeing another scene like this makes me feel a sense of foreboding. So many Starks have left Winterfell never to return, you’d have thought they’d learn to just send emissaries. Talking of emissaries, why didn’t Jon bring Littlefinger with him? It would’ve been a solid tactical move: Littlefinger is persuasive and skilled in negotiations, it would demonstrate the might of support behind Jon’s claim, but most importantly, it would keep him from creeping on Sansa every episode. As it is, I’m not expecting Jon and Littlefinger will ever share the screen again. And if they do, it’ll get messy.

In King’s Landing, Cersei appeals to her bannermen to support her. Speaking to Randyll Tarly and other weighty lords, she outlines her reasons to oppose Daenerys:

  1. She’s vengeful and cruel.
  2. She’ll make a shady deal with any old nutter just for a bit of power.
  3. She’s responsible for the murder of countless innocents.

Which would be solid arguments, if they weren’t all applicable to Cersei herself. There’s a significant point here: Cersei and Daenerys are at least as similar as they are different. Cersei’s love for her children is as powerful a love as anything Daenerys has exhibited: Daenerys’ slaughter of the Dothraki who captured her was as merciless as Cersei’s KO on the Tyrells and the Faith Militant. Should they ever come face to face, they might even get on.

Then the showrunners have decided that there’s too much plot going on, and not enough boobs, so we have our mandatory sex scene. And this week it’s Missandei seducing Grey Worm, which is a little like greeting Jaime Lannister with a firm right handshake.

Considering these are two of the most one-dimensional characters in the show, this scene is genuinely moving. The realities of lost “manhood” are something the show has explored, through Theon and Varys, but never with delicacy and understanding. In fact, those two words have probably never been used in reference to Game of Thrones before.

The downside of all this damn’ cuteness is that Grey Worm looks set to become a casualty, especially considering the ever-growing camp which is Team Daenerys. But Jacob Anderson does a good job during his moment in the sun, despite the ridiculousness of his accent.

Out of context, this screenshot raises some interesting questions. In context, it raises even more. Questions like: who the fuck was sadistic enough to suggest pus leaking out from beneath the greyscale? In all honesty, this scene disgusted me at least as much as Oberyn getting watermelon’d by the Mountain back in S4. I really don’t want to think about it, but I’ll admit the comic timing between the pair of actors was impeccable, and even though the scene transition was disgusting, it was kinda glorious too.

And then, out of nowhere: a Hot Pie cameo!

Trailing through all of the fan websites, I ruin almost all of the surprises Game of Thrones has to offer. But this cameo came out of nowhere, and was all the better for it. It made sense, and delivered some fan service in a way which helped, rather than hindered, the plot. Whoever organised the fucking Ed Sheeran concert last week: take note.

Maisie Williams does a fantastic job handling the nuances of this scene. Initially she’s distant and detached: her reaction to this fragment of her past traumas brings little to no emotional response, which makes sense. But she is scarcely able to control herself when she finds out about Jon Snow’s victory. Hot Pie is shocked she hasn’t caught up on Season 6 Episode 9, since they show it on HBO all the time. His assurances are enough to reverse Arya’s direction, which means we are set to get my personal most anticipated reunion: Arya and Jon. At some point.

Am I missing something here? If it was Nymeria, surely the direwolf wouldn’t have deserted its long-lost compadre. But if it wasn’t, why didn’t it tuck into an Arya steak? I suppose this could be justified by natural Stark kinship with direwolves, but if it does, the scene hardly seems necessary.

After a brief research, turns out I was missing something. According to popsugar.com (where I do all of my research), Arya’s “that’s not you” line is a throwback to a line she speaks way back in season 1, to her father. When Eddard describes the life of a courtly lady, Arya refutes this by saying “that’s not me.” Therefore, this line in this context shows that it is no longer in Nymeria’s nature to serve a human master. Fair enough, but that’s pretty bloody obscure, and the line is too easy to misconstrue.

And I will never — never — forgive them for the line “a foreign invasion is underway.” My god. More sickening than Sam’s operations on Jorah.

NO

But before this heavily forced sex-scene can materialise, enter Euron Greenday, who, in his Season Seven Form, is so hardcore that he is his own shipbreaking ram.

Seriously though, what a fucking entrance. If only they’d given him introductions like these back in Season 6: he’d be a fan favourite already. As it happens, he’s well on the way to becoming one of my favourite characters, because he is phenomenal in this episode. Completely unhinged, mercilessly violent, and so much fun, in a show which needs to cling onto fun if its latter seasons are going to be truly enjoyable. One surefire way to gain the love of the fans is to kill off a couple of Sand Snakes, which Euron does in spectacular fashion.

The battle in particular is well filmed: fervent, frenetic, and dipped in a hue of flaming orange. When streaming it live I found it hard to follow, but watching it back in higher quality sorts this out, and really makes you appreciate the effort the stunt and effects team must’ve put into this.

But the episode ends on a muted note, as Theon is unable, or perhaps just unwilling, to challenge his Uncle Euron to a direct battle to save his sister. Brave? No. Wise? Probably. The Theon of the first two seasons would undoubtedly have leaped in to save the day, but the Theon of the first two seasons was a cunt.

Theon is a bit stuck in terms of where to go from here, but for now most areas of the game are fully in motion: Euron will presumably bring his gifts back to Cersei to consolidate their alliance, whilst Grey Worm and the Dothraki assault Casterley Rock. After two episodes which have largely consisted of buildup, it looks as though Episode Three will deliver some proper plot points, including the fated meeting of Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow.

Episode Rating: 7/10

The Trick Is To Keep Blogging

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Stories, travel writings and other ramblings by Ben Creeth

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