Game of Thoughts: Season 6 Episode 1
We’ve watched this show for years. We’ve seen families destroyed, children burnt at the stake, men betrayed by their closest friends. But nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared us for the sight of a naked old woman.
Game of Thrones returned this week with an emphatic bang, with an episode packed with more drama than we’ve come to expect from season openers.
We began exactly where last season ended, with Jon Snow’s body lying beneath the wall. The heartbreaking scene in which Davos discovers the body is cut mercifully short. The loyal men of the Night’s Watch (there are about 5 now) gather in a room with his corpse, watched over by Ghost. Dolorous Edd uncharacteristically decides that there’s hope after all, and sets off in search of help, presumably in the form of Tormund Giantsbane and the wildlings.
We got the biggest hint so far that Jon Snow is alive: “I saw him in the flames, fighting at Winterfell.”
Well, actually Melisandre, most of us saw him fighting at Winterfell, since there’s a brief flash of a familiar figure in one of the trailers:
Meanwhile, Alliser Thorne delivered a lengthy justification for his murder of Jon Snow., which went something like: “I never once betrayed an order. Loyalty is the foundation on which the Night’s Watch was built. And Jon Snow never specifically ordered me not to kill him, so technically I didn’t disobey him, and cos I didn’t like him it doesn’t count as disloyalty either. Anyway, I’m in charge now.” Surely this bastard will get stabbed by someone by the end of this season. Any takers? Olly?
Moving south, a brief scene confirms that Ramsey Bolton is still evil in Season 6. His father Roose Bolton is really pissed now, since he’s betrayed the Starks and the Lannisters now, and seems to have run out of friends. Not for the first time, he taunts Ramsey with the possibility that his pregnant wife is carrying a boy, who would overtake bastard Ramsey as heir to the Bolton seat.
So if that happens (and let’s face it, it will), it’ll be sadistic psychopath Ramsey vs ageing father, fat wife and newborn baby. This won’t be pretty.
While the Boltons are having their domestic, Ramsey’s hounds are tracking Theon and *yawns* Sansa through the northern wilderness. Sansa, fleeing a season’s worth of tyranny at the hands of Ramsey Bolton, doesn’t want to cross a river because it’s a bit cold. I know a lot of GoT fans love Sansa, but I genuinely don’t know how she’s survived for so long.
With Ramsey’s hounds on their trail, Theon redeems himself further by giving himself up to them, imploring Sansa to flee north. Except she doesn’t flee north, despite Theon’s efforts to stall the men. She just sits there, and is effortlessly recaptured.
But wait! It’s the return of Brienne and Podrick, who achieve more than they did last season in their first minute of screen time. How I’ve missed Gwendoline Christie’s deranged battle cries. The fight isn’t quite up to the standard of Brienne Vs Hound (one of the show’s best deviations from the book), but it’s pretty cool, and even Theon gets in on the action. Ramsey’s forces don’t stand a chance — clearly he didn’t send any of his twenty good men.
It’s a triumphant moment when Brienne is finally able to pledge her service to Sansa at long last, even if Sansa does kinda ruin it by forgetting her lines. Maybe I’m being mean to her. It was a bit cold.
My highlight of the episode was undoubtedly Jaime’s return from Dorne, standing grimly over the shroud covering his dead daughter Myrcella. Watching Cersei’s face morph from expectant warmth to grief through a continuous shot was painful, even for a character who I struggle to like. Lena Headey confirms her acting qualifications again in the ensuing conversation with Jaime, which delves deep into Cersei’s psychei. Mixing horrific images of decaying bodies with a newfound sense of self-loathing, the complexities of her character have never been displayed so well.
Jaime’s response is decidedly less complex. “Fuck prophecy. Fuck fate, fuck everyone who isn’t us.” His words are strong, and they have the desired effect, but they have an undeniable air of desperation about them.
Meanwhile in Dorne, it’s just another day in the incredibly slow life of Doran Martell, reminiscing about all his dead family members. Then out of fucking nowhere, they kill Doran! And Areo Hotah! And the messenger! You never kill the messenger! There should be a fucking proverb for this.
So this was my first major shock watching Game of Thrones, since this scene doesn’t appear in the books. However, I’m not so sure that it will appear in the books, since I’m not even sure this scene was originally the plan for the show.
There’s few problems with this scene. I understand the Sand Snakes hate Doran’s irresolute nature, but would they really kill him? Does it make any sense that to avenge Oberyn, they’d kill Oberyn’s beloved brother? And why would Ellaria and the Sand Snakes wait until after they killed Myrcella to kill Doran and Areo? If all the Dornish guards are on their side, doesn’t it make sense to get them out the way sooner rather than later? And how did the Sand Snakes get all of the Dornish guards on their side? Near the end of last season the guards stepped in to prevent them from killing Myrcella — how did they change their minds to such an extent that they were happy to see the one guy they’re supposed to protect murdered by his extended family?!
I suspect that the unanimously poor audience reaction to last Season’s Dornish scenes might have prompted the showrunners to accelerate the Dornish timeline, and establish the Sand Snakes as major players. They’re certainly more badass in this episode than last season, particularly in the cruel murder of young Trystane. On an interesting sidenote, Trystane travelled with Jaime to King’s Landing, meaning two of the Sand Snakes are now within stabbing distance of the Lannisters. Could get interesting.
Across the narrow sea, Arya is beaten up by the waif, who has now overtaken Olly as my least-liked character in GoT. In Meereen, Tyrion and Varys banter their way through the streets whilst disguised as merchants. As a dwarf and a eunuch speaking in a foreign langage, they of course blend right in. Jorah and Daario pass the time on their travels by chatting about their favourite subject: Daenerys.
The woman herself is looking distinctly haggard, forced to walk alongside a pair of fearsome Dothraki warriors as one of them talks about how he likes to cuddle and chat after sex. Daenerys is then taken to meet Khal Pono, who resembles Khal Drogo, except toned down in every respect. During his conversation with Daenerys, he is repeatedly contradicted by his wives and bloodriders: perhaps meaningless jesting, and yet it might hint at an oncoming mutiny among Pono’s men. If the Khal was usurped, it would certainly create the chaos needed for Daenerys to either escape and be rescued — as we all know, chaos is a ladder.
Despite the density of the episode, the most memorable scene occurs at the end, as Davos and co. wait for Dolorous Edd to return. After Davos engages with Alliser Thorne in mutton negotiations, Melisandre retires to her room, alone.
In front of the worlds dirtiest mirror, she undresses. Now, nothing unusual about that — Melisandre strips off at least once per season, and we all assumed the writers were just getting it out of the way early this time around. This time she’s really going for it, whipping off the necklace, and suddenly —
Melisandreeeugh.
This visual is creepy in a thoroughly realistic way, created by using prosthetics to age Carice Van Houten’s face, before superimposing it on the body of an elderly woman. It’s particularly interesting since our culture simply doesn’t show naked old people. Ever. The reasons for this are obvious, but it’s strange that the sight of a spear through Trystane Martell’s teenage face is so comfortable to viewers whilst an old woman naked isn’t. The weirdest thing is that her belly looks like a sad face.
This was unexpected, although there have been several hints along the way that Melisandre is much older than she appears. The director of this episode has spoken out about this moment:
The foundation of Melisandre’s actions since her introduction to the show have crumbled. Stannis and Jon are gone, and her considerable powers have been futile in preventing their deaths. Without her sanctimonious piety and her distinctive robes, she is just as human as everyone else in Game of Thrones. (Except for the dragons and ice zombies). It’s hard to see where she’ll go from here — unless, that is, Jon Snow is reborn.
Episode Rating: 6/10
If this episode was a character: Robb Stark. Looked pretty good, and had a few interesting moments, but never really got started.