Shastri selects: Scenes from the great Indian Selection Meet
*Somewhere in a train bound to London*
A booming voice on the PA system rattles all passengers.
"This is India's coach Ravi Shastri. I request all the Indian boys to gather round in the last bogey of the train. Ahh, I forgot this is England, half the passengers in this train are Indian."
"Correction. All Indian boys who play for the Indian cricket team, please gather round in the last bogey of the train. And if you see that stewardess, collect all the ice cubes you can, she refuses to give me any more!"
Five minutes later the entire Indian team was huddled around Ravi Shastri and Virat Kohli, both seated comfortably on their VIP couches. One drinking his zero calorie protein shake and other drinking his Patiala (I don't think it's important to tell our distinguished readers who were drinking what).
Shastri gives a grave expression, "You are all slow. Next time whoever takes more than 2 minutes to report will be automatically dropped from the playing eleven. Don't you all know what I did to Ganguly when he was late for the team bus?"
He continues, "Now, the first order of the day. Who managed to get me ice?"
Few men come forward.
Shastri moans, "No Puji, your ice collecting strike rate is still slow. You can't just bring one ice cube, use both hands at least. Look at Pandya his hands, pockets and mouth are all stuffed with ice. Thanks, Hardik. Even Kapil Dev wasn't this good back in the days."
Hanuma Vihari suddenly appears on the scene huffing and puffing frantically.
Shastri is filled with rage. "Did I ask you to carry along your kit bag Hanu? You think we are going to practice inside the train. Is this how Dravid trained you at India A?"
Hanuma Vihari catches a breath and speaks up, "Sorry Ravi Sir, But I couldn’t carry all the stuff from the pantry car myself, so I ran back to collect my kitbag, threw all my cricket stuff out and stuffed it with two ice buckets and two bottles of single malt. These English folks hide all the good stuff from us".
Shastri beams with pride. "This is what I want from my young lads, a willingness to take the initiative. Hanuma, you are in the eleven for the next Test. That means..."
Pujara nods.
Shastri’s face turns grave. "No Puji, I can’t drop you all the time. People will think I am not tactical. We must find another scapegoat now. Who has had the longest run of consecutive Tests in the team?"
Hardik raises his hand.
Shastri is alarmed, “Goodness Gracious Hardik. You must be dropped then. You didn’t score many runs in the last Test anyhow.”
Pandya revolts, “But Sir, I picked a fiver and scored a 50 in the Test before that. Even Holding is going easy on me now.”
Shastri is unaffected, “Look Hardik, even Kapil Dev was dropped by Gavaskar once. We Mumbaikars are khadoos. You have to take one for the team. I want no further discussions on this. Now let’s pick the rest of the playing eleven. Hanuma you sit next to me and make a stiff one, we may need to take some hard decisions here".
"First the openers. Virat went with Akkad Bakkad at the beginning of this series, that’s simply not good enough for the English conditions. For this game, I recommend doing eeny meeny miny mo. Go ahead Virat, tell me whose name came up."
Virat Kohli finally gets to speak in the team meeting. "The openers for the next game are going to be Dhawan and Rahul."
Shastri is confused, "Same combination again? This is not a toss where you keep saying Heads over and over again. Remember you must be flexible here. Why don’t you pick the young Mumbai lad. I heard Manjrekar say great things about him."
Virat smiles sheepishly, "That’s exactly what makes me sceptical, Ravi. Anyhow, you have already selected Hanuma. We are already playing Pant. If we select Shaw also then we are just a glorified India A team."
Shastri approves, "Good thinking Virat! I guess the rest of the batting picks itself. That leaves us with the bowlers. Who do you want to pick for the...."
Shastri stops himself mid-sentence as he glances across to see Bhuvneshwar in wheelchairs. "Never mind. I guess the fast bowlers pick themselves too. Everyone who is fit and can bowl fast is in the team. No, not you Hardik. Why don’t you get a new haircut in London, I know a great hair stylist there. At this age, you are allowed to have some leeway. What about the spinner then, Virat?"
Virat thinks for a moment. "I notice that both English spinners have a beard and that has worked for them in the last game. The only bearded spinner in our team is Ravindra Jadeja. We must get him on the team before the series is over."
Shastri taps the table in delight. "Excellent thinking Virat. That means we are done. You lads can leave and prepare for the upcoming challenge. Dismissed!"
"Not you Hanuma, you sit here. I need another stiff one after this hectic meeting. Chop chop lad!"
