What are the qualities of people who are great to work with?
I’ve been down the dark hole of self doubt, riddled with a lack of confidence. The imposter syndrome has been kicking in hard. I’ve bitten off a lot more than I can chew and pushed myself outside what had become a very comfortable zone at work. And as much as I like challenging myself and pushing my limits, as much as I like learning new things and growing, I’ve been terrified of screwing this all up. There’s a life mantra I’ve said to my friends and family, colleagues and mentees countless times over the years, and these last few months, I’ve said it to myself at least a dozen times a day, just to keep me going.
“Just because something is scary or difficult is no reason to not do it”.
A couple of days ago, out of absolutely nowhere, a person at work I really admire, respect and look up to called me over lunch. I thought it might have been to talk about a project I’m working on, possibly to give me feedback about yet another thing I had screwed up; I’ve had a fair few of those recently. It wasn’t. He sat me down and asked me what was going on. He had sensed the lack of confidence which was so uncharacteristic of me, and, had called me up to simply say that he believed in me. He pointed out two very (retrospectively) glaringly obvious gaps that were driving me down that path. He told me how to tackle them, what I need to work on that will help me get out of my own way and offered to help me do so. He did not mince his words and was stern but reassuringly calm, like an older brother showing the young one the way.
After we hung up I literally slumped down in the corner of my room in tears. My wife came in and gave me a hug and picked me up. It was just what I needed. I told her everything he said to me and how much it meant that he would do that, completely unsolicited. It changed me; those 10 minutes tripped a switch in me and I’ve started to feel like my old self again. If this mentor, this person I admire, sees it in me, who am I to question his judgement?
What are the qualities of people who are great to work with?
Empathy. This whole experience taught me a very important lesson. Reach out to someone who is wearing the mask of normalcy, but might be in turmoil behind it. A simple encouraging word from you might make all the difference in their life. We all stumble, we all fall, we could all use a hand to help us back up on our feet. To the world you might be one person, but, to one person you might be the world. If you believe in someone, if you’re rooting for them, if you want them to succeed, let them know.
We all need four people in our lives. A coach, a friend, a mentor and a cheerleader. Make sure to be one of these for someone else as well.
