Contained

https://thesirletters.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/overflowing-heart.jpg

We spend all our lives holding in our love
Holding in the power and the weight of it
Of what we can give
Of what we want to give 
To share, to shower others with..
We store it, keep this precious elixir safe 
Untainted, undisturbed, untraumatized…as much as possible
We let it fill us up, over and over
Like divine rainwater
Dammed up and structured, protected…trapped
We hate to waste it
We fear to waste it
For something to break the dam
To damage it beyond repair
To make it unable to open ever again…
We fear to be opened up
To overflow
To let our flood gates trickle let alone release…
But when there is no choice,
When we are so full of emotion, 
Of joy, of terror, of love…
The trickles push through
They seep and dig and grind at the barrier until they break free
And we fall…
We fall in love with each new draining trickle
And when the dam bursts…
There is no going back
Not for days, for months, even years
The flow rages, roars and runs, unstoppable, unquenchable, unquaking…
Until a balance is found, a rhythm, a calm of ebb and flow 
And even then, it never settles, never truly ceases
Until trust is broken 
Until debris builds up
And we clear it away with discussion, with arguments…with breaks
We clear it away until there is nothing but the memory to remind us 
But if we cannot
And damage has been done to the foundation 
To the core of our structure and understanding
We start to rebuild
And the dam is reborn, bit by bit
Until we have sealed up our love once again…
Sealed up ourselves
and we are once more whole
Healed 
Contained
Trapped by knowledge, 
By fear
By experience…
And along with damage and renewal..
With wisdom.

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