📚 5 Books I Wish I’d Read in My First Years as a Founder: Part 2 — Never Split the Difference

As an entrepreneur navigating uncharted territories, negotiation is a skill that can truly make or break your journey. Reflecting on my experiences, one book that I wish had come into my possession earlier is “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It” by Chris Voss.

💡 Why I Wish I’d Read It Sooner

• In my initial years as an entrepreneur, I approached negotiations as a battlefield — a combat where I can win only by having the best arguments. This perspective created immense pressure and stress, especially when negotiations didn’t go as planned. The book’s emphasis on empathy and emotional intelligence has been transformative. It shifted my perception of negotiation from confrontation to collaboration.
• Based on real-world experiences, the book offers you practical approaches to various negotiation scenarios encountered as a founder — whether with investors, clients, your team, or even in personal interactions. Implementing the strategies from this book would have saved me significant time during my early days, providing a structured approach and potentially preventing numerous mistakes.

🚀 Key Takeaways and Lessons

• Negotiation as an Exploration: Voss’s approach encourages viewing negotiation as collaborative exploration rather than a combative process. Is not a battle of arguments for you to show that you’re right, but a process where you listen and learn as much information as possible about what’s important for the person in front of you.
• Validate Your Assumptions: The negotiation process is a chance to validate assumptions made while preparing for it, ensuring your arguments and proposals align with the actual needs of the other party.
• “No” as the Starting Point: Contrary to convention, Voss shows that getting a “no” can lay the foundation for productive negotiations. It was useful for me to understand that there could be more meaning behind a “No”, like: “I don’t understand your proposal”, “I’m not ready now to accept”, “I don’t think I can afford”, “I just need more info”.
• Embrace Tactical Empathy: Understanding your counterpart’s emotions and perspectives builds a connection and uncovers crucial information. Is not about agreeing with the values and bellies of the other party, is just about understanding and being aware of what’s important for them.
• Mirroring, Labelling & Calibrated Questions: These practical techniques help you establish a better connection and offer insights into the other party’s mindset. With the right questions you don’t necessarily need to be the one coming up with the solution.
• Smile: when people are in a positive state they are more open to collaborating and solving issues together, than fighting back and being defensive. A positive impression helps everyone in a negotiation.

📋 Recommendation to First-Time Founders

• Prioritize reading “Never Split the Difference” early in your journey, but keep it afterwards around you for at least 3 to 6 months
• Take a gradual approach, applying these techniques in real-life scenarios to become skilled.
• Opt for a physical copy — I found highlighting and bookmarking valuable sections highly effective. Keeping it accessible in my backpack for quick reference was very helpful in my preparation for negotiations and adopting the different techniques.

“The language of negotiation is primarily a language of conversation and rapport: a way of quickly establishing relationships and getting people to talk and think together.”

📚 Stay Tuned

Stay tuned for more books that I found very helpful in recent years as a first-time founder. Check the intro article, 📚 5 Books I Wish I’d Read in My First Years as a Founder, for links to the other books.

What are some books on negotiation tactics that you found useful in your journey? Share it in the comments sections. Let’s learn & grow together!