Things Don’t ‘Happen For a Reason’ – Things Just Happen

I’ve had one of those weeks that seem designed specifically to provide you with perspective.

It started with tenderness and love, hit an all-time high midweek when I finally succeeded in accomplishing something I’ve been working on with brute strength and forced stamina for the past seven months (and also failed just 4 weeks ago), and has culminated in devastating news that has simultaneously bruised my heart and renewed by understanding of life’s beautiful fragility.

It has occurred to me with great clarity lately that nothing in life ‘happens for a reason’. This is something I’ve innately understood for as long as I can remember. I cringe when the generic response to life’s great upheavals ends with a sigh, a pat on the shoulder, and that bullshit line, “Well, everything happens for a reason.”

Life is just life. It’s a series of moments, choices, and memories. None of those three pillars are stable, sturdy or predictable — and that’s the beauty of this whole process.

Things don’t happen for reason. Things just happen — and more often then not, we give those things meaning. To understand life in this way — as a series of moments, choices, and memories, has been a powerfully liberating reconciliation with life’s inevitable ebbs and flows.

I’m working hard to release the weight of expectations, and in its place, embracing only appreciation. The good and the bad and the harsh, rapid pendulum swings from one direction to the next, can wreck havoc on the nervous system — and never mind the damage on a fragile, healing heart.

But as I sit here, in a mix of relief, hope, despair, fear, and loss, I still can’t help but marvel at all the ways in which I am alive, and what a fucking brilliant gift that is.