Me [on the phone with my manager]: “This has to end, it’s ridiculous!”

What happened

An awful rollout!

Ok let me rephrase it… Successful rollout, poorly delivered. Way to many extra hours for the whole team, badly planned and seldom tested. This had my agnostic self praying for the Lord when deploying to production.

Entering the project in D-3 also didn’t help on acquiring all the context needed and don’t get me wrong, I love being in the “SWAT Team” destroying the shit out of bugs and cleaning the house under pressure. But this was a whole. ‘nother. level. [1]

It got to the point where I’ve never felt so frustrated in my life. This kinda stuff happened in previous rollouts and were discussed but no plans were made to make it disappear.

We spent this whole year (the team’s first year) delivering quality by the beat of a Swiss watch and then this happens. Not good for a team that wants to lead by example.

What followed

The day after the rollout I called my/my team’s manager.

Pouring tears of pure frustration I told my side of the story and said that I wanted to be part of a team that would make sure that this wouldn’t happen again:

I want to improve our team’s processes.

Yep, I said it. Me, the one that runs away from responsibility as if it were a three-headed dog. I take responsibility for my mistakes, but “hell no! I ain’t nothing to do with that” would be my usual way of facing this.

After a week (on vacation), Monday morning I get a call from my manager: “We have two newcomers with no allocation ‘till the end of the year. What would you say to get that team started on improving our team’s processes?” — “Sure”, I said. I remember, immediately after that, asking myself “what dahell are you doing?” and “do you have any idea of what you’re supposed to do?”. The answer to both is no idea.

But I knew... If I allowed myself to give a second-thought on this, I would run away and lose this incredible opportunity of personal and professional growth.

What will come

One week into the team and I can say that I really have no idea of what I’m doing. I’m learning as I go along and trying to improve as quick as I possibly can.

I will see how much far away I am from that “utopic awesome me” that lives in my mind and I will start to get a little closer.

I will learn about others motivations, processes and perspectives.

I will get a glimpse of how to manage a team, communicate with others and how to get an idea into reality.

And I will fail at the majority of that. But I will learn. And improve.

When faced with the opportunity to get out of your discomfort zone, don’t think. Just go ahead. We’ll fail, we’ll learn, we’ll grow.

Thank you to everyone who helped, mentored and accompanied me on this journey of growth in 2015. Let’s make 2016 even more awesome.

Happy 2016, everyone! :D

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