ISSUE #1
Is it good for a woman to initiate a relationship?
During the old times, it’s been a tradition that when it comes to a relationship the man should be the one to initiate, the man should be the one to court the lady, he should be taking all the risks for a lady and even today it still being practiced by some people. But as the millennials do today we can see a lot of people especially the ladies who don’t follow anymore the tradition. There are ladies now who tend to initiate a relationship or even court a man. The question is “Does that affect the respect of a man to a lady?”. According to my survey, younger men who are in the early 20’s or teenagers don’t care about who would initiate first moreover, they look for it as a benefit to them because they won’t be just the one who is responsible to take the risk as always and it would be easier for them to court a lady who admits her feelings. According to H. Castillo-one of my Interviewee “, I think it’s better than OK. It’s ridiculous that we are bound by our societal norms which dictate to us that guys should always do the first move every time.”
When I tried asking the ladies about it there were also different answers but most of them say “It is okay.” better than keeping your feelings and not even trying to know what’s beyond it. So when it’s where you’re going to be happy then why not do it and ignore what others say about you than making regrets in the future. Some adult says It is okay if you are getting older already and no relationship yet, so literally there’s no time for you to wait for them to move and you have to do something already in order for you to get some partner in life. But some says going back to the tradition it should be the man who would initiate a relationship because boys are always boys and boys tend to take advantage if you give them motives or worst court them. Ladies might get played or easy for them to leave since they didn’t exert more effort to get her.
There are mix emotions and ideas upon asking those things to the people. most of them agree with it and some don’t. Let us define first courtship, according to the dictionary it is “Seeking for the affections of a woman.” So that means it’s a process where a man is going to do some effort in order for him to get the affection of the lady and it doesn’t matter if the lady wants you or not. According to the Wikipedia “Courtship ordinarily begins when a single man approaches a single woman by going through the woman’s father” So still it’s the man who approaches the woman.
But courtship doesn’t only mean that way, according to the Cambridge Dictionary “ the time when people have a romantic relationship with the intention of getting married” So it means courtship is not only getting the attention and affection of a woman but also the process of preparation for marriage. Now, let’s go back to the issue “is it okay that a woman will initiate a relationship.” No one says it’s not okay, not in the dictionaries not even in Wikipedia but to the traditional people, it is not advisable for a lady doing the first move, they have a point actually that you might be taken advantage of but for some people, they don’t advise it because you would look so desperate and might lose the respect of the man you love.
But I understand that some ladies might think “what if it’s so obvious already that you have the mutual feelings but that man is coward enough to reveal his feelings and do the courting? Will you just wait for him to move?” Well, in this world we have the freedom of choice, we know what is right and what is wrong, so as long as you know that you’re doing right then you can proceed to what you supposed to do at the end of the day other people’s opinion doesn’t matter anyway. But be sure to be ready to the consequences, like to the ladies who just want to reveal their feelings without any assurance, you might cry after receiving negative feedback from him, or you might regret if he will take advantage of you.
Anyways, real love waits for the right time, it’s patient and careful. So if you feel like rushing to be in a relationship with that man, you better check out of that feeling because that might be an infatuation.
Feel free to critique with respect.
