Black Pansy, a cinematic phenomenon… NOT!

Apparently Netflix saw fit to include Black Pansy… I mean, Panther, on the useless side of its roster. I thought it quite humorous but not surprising, the numbers the film grossed. I promised myself I wouldn’t step within 500 yards of a theater until the childish fiasco played itself out.

It sure didn’t take long to reduce the film’s claim to its relative portion of my thirty cents a day Netflix cost! And I think it’s still a ripoff! It’s taking me a half dozen sessions to get through this same-old-tripe of a story. Replete with car chases, gun-play, kung fu, over-acting galore, adolescent, sophomoric dialog… and whatever else a Hollywood staff of, probably, 27 writers can cram into the screenplay of yet another blue-screen cinematic dilemma-in-garbaaage!

It’s hard to suspend my disbelief when every scene has obvious overtones of a room full of computer nerds tapping on their keyboards creating the next phony background. Notice the credits on this film… they’re in the thousands! So many stunt performers they couldn’t even list them in the usual manner. They just blocked all their names in one gigantic paragraph. Sheesh! Well, at least someone’s getting some work out of it.

Of course, in its racial overtones, I can see the need for, what we used to call in the seventies, a big Blacksploitation film. Hey, who am I to complain? Nothing to do with color for me. As far as I’m concerned, after the original Iron Man, they can shove their whole Marvel franchise right up Walt Disney’s cryogenically frozen asshole! Pure shit is what it is. Boy, all the effort just to try and out-do The Matrix! I guess it pays, though. Sad reflection of current taste trends. I imagine tiny mice running about the theaters, squeaking, “it’s trending, it’s trending! It’s going viral. It’s virally trending. It’s trendingly viral. It’s tee-otally awesome! Gag me with a spoon.” Help!

Thank the powers that be, including Netflix, for providing a tiny, nondescript but dedicated audience with little, itsy bitsy low-cost, high-intelligence film making. It is most reassuring to know there are still some writers and directors in Hollywood that can actually turn out wonderful scripts with nary a gunshot being fired or motor vehicle going over a cliff! People continue to make great movies, albeit barely profitable, I’m sure, where the audience can close its collective gaping mouth and use its critical faculties to think for a change. You know, like about real life situations. Chew on some expensive popcorn and exercise the gray matter. I can see the need for escape in today’s worldly climate. Yet, I wonder how anything will ever get better, while so many “grown-ups” refuse to actually grow up! Quick… let’s get Star Wars-18 underway!

NYC incarnate. Snake hips chicken lips and other flights of fanciful whimsy. Musician, Renaissance Mo-Fo, Beatnik, Philosopher, Feminist. Purist of the impure!

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