One of my friends posted this rant on social media. It brought on a sense of sadness in my heart. I remember talking to Nicole about mental health and her interest in it.

Wait…interest seems to imply that she was merely fascinated but that isn’t just it. I think it would be more apt to say that she had the heart for people who suffered from mental disorders.

I think I haven’t really been kind to those who may suffer from mental illnesses. I have to say I don’t know much about it. And I think part of me is…

I have the privilege to take a Human Biology class this quarter and it has been amazing so far. It has nothing to do with my intended major at all (what’s new, pfftt)

I am just beginning my research on this country which I know nothing about and it is depressing. Rigged elections, government supported brutality, corruption…

I am still holding on to the belief that people would not run for prominent positions of leadership unless they really believe in serving people. ( I think I am getting more jaded every day.) …

I am sitting at a table on the second floor of Green Library. This is one of my favorite spots on campus. And I am frighteningly aware of how fortunate I am to be here. I have access to so much knowledge that I do not even know how to use.

Britton has reminded us time and time again about how we should not make work the priority in our lives. It is true that here at Stanford, we can forget about the bigger purpose of our lives. We forget about God.

I have been biking around a lot campus…





Breaths are coming quick

I am rendered weak

A coward?

Or just being cautious?

Moving forward

Feeling nauseous


I am not going to do your bidding





Is this right?

or am I in the wrong

I’m not that bright

But I will stay strong

The fine line

Your will

Or mine

I’m just dabbling a little into photography. I don’t think I have the patience to really delve into it. But it’s fun to just capture and play around with the settings of my new phone.

Pictures were taken one of the last days spent in Kuching before I fly over to West Malaysia. I don’t know if I’ll be able to visit Sarawak again before I depart to further my studies.

Got to run and workout with Daniel which was great! I beat him in stamina but obviously not in strength. Had an equally amazing dinner after that which probably put back all the calories burnt or more. Hahaha. :p

Joshua wasn’t here though.

The trio wasn’t complete.

Have faith, Carissa.

Just a little more.

This song is currently my jam. It just gets me very hype for the things to come. I think it’s like a challenge for us in a time of change. A declaration that we trust in God no matter what.

Times are changing for KYCF. I think I only realized how big KYCF was to me after I left. I was given the chance to grow there. The people that make up KYCF…I am beyond blessed.

I’m stepping out to become
Everything You’ve called me
I believe in Your word
And Your spirit in me

So Jacky told me about…

So my worry group returned to KY.

They’re grown up sobs.

I think I’m experiencing the same feelings I felt when I saw Joshua growing up. It’s a mix of…idk, it’s ambiguous. I want it to lean more towards happy but sometimes I really do miss them? The lighthearted laughter, the nonsense that spews out from their mouths… They talked about going for sports too. That was something we used to do together. …

I was on a deleting spree the other day.

I happily deleted the folders labelled KY on my desktop.

Guys, I’m not happy to leave KY but like I think you know what I mean. I’ll miss you all.

It’s satisfying to tidy up our desktop y’know. So I continued my conquest to clear any and all irrelevant folders which I will never ever need again. That includes dragging and dropping the entire folder of PYPs into the recycle bin.

Satisfaction guaranteed.

I got carried away.

A few days ago when I didn’t have any internet connection, I had to…

I realized how easy it is for us to compare ourselves to others. The tendency for us to measure oneself against another is almost inescapable.

Yes, I know it can be good in some ways to keep ourselves in check but

Why are we so insecure?

The only people who read this blog can be counted with the number of fingers I have. And I am pretty sure this other person who has a blog does not know about the existence of this blog. And yet I find myself comparing my blog and hers.

Why do we do that?


NC lasted for six days.

But I’ve learnt lots from it

That will probably last me for a lifetime.

I signed up for NC with the wrong motives. When Sue Min and Sophia asked me to join NC, I signed up thinking that hey, I can make use of the camp to prolong the goodbyes to be said to my friends. I wasn’t expecting much from the camp. I figured you know, it’ll be one of those camps where I just sit through the talks, bear with the activities and then spend time with my own friends at night.



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