Around the World in a Crap-Ton of Breakfasts Part 4: Angola

It was bound to happen. We were going to a cook a breakfast that we did not like. We did not expect is to come so early in the alphabet, or to be this bad. Welcome to our attempt at Angolan breakfast!

Angola has been through some stuff. A decades-long civil war following an exceedingly long period of corrupt colonial government. If our research is correct, one of the worst things ever to happen here is breakfast. I am really not trying to be a jerk about this, but hear me out.

Funje is a tapioca porridge. Doesn’t sound too bad. Tapioca is in so many awesome things (well, two awesome things at least). And porridge is a great breakfast: starchy, carby, filling for a day’s work. This is not how we wanted breakfast to go.

It is goo. It is hot goo. It does not come off of anything. It is like the slime from Ghostbusters maybe. Definitely it is like that blue stuff the mom made in Better Off Dead. It is a nightmare breakfast from a 1980s comedy of your choice.

We tried to eat it. We really did. We added bananas and pineapples and sweetened it. It was like eating a bowl of mucus. I only had one bite and could not continue. She kept at it for a few bites. I feel like our information on this may have been an internet prank. If you eat this regularly, I salute you. Hang in there.

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