Here It Is: The Exhaustive Breakdown of Every Shot In The CATS Trailer

Thanks, I… love it.

Yesterday, the Cats trailer broke the Internet. Between the uncanny valley, the cat breasts, and James Corden, there’s a lot that could go wrong, and yet — has anything ever been more right?

I’m so pumped for this movie. I love the musical Cats. Un-ironically, I might add. People like to act like they are visionaries or bold truth-tellers for hating this musical, and I want to stress most people hate this musical. Most theatre people, at least. Even people who think Rent is great (lol fuck Rent) think Cats is nonsense.

Which, let me stress, it absolutely is.

Cats the musical is utter madness. It’s messy, senseless, all spectacle, utterly brainless. And it works. This musical fucking works. It’s uniquely theatrical. It requires insanely talented performers. It’s joyously uncynical while also not feeling the need to point out every other song how uncynical it’s being. Cats knows what it is, and is that full fucking throttle.

That means it’s either your jam or it’s not. And if it’s not your jam, that’s fine, but you look a little stupid pointing it out like you’re smarter than everyone. No one likes the musical Cats because they’ve confused it for Twelfth Night. They just… like it.

Cats the musical is extremely my jam, and has been for seventeen years. This trailer, this movie, is my Star War. So let’s break it down shot-for-shot…