Using Stylometry analysis I have discovered I may be Satoshi Nakamoto
I have identified Myself, an amateur crypto enthusiast as being the real Satoshi Nakamoto using Yeder’s bootstrapped Coronary Angiogram stylometry method. This finding supports a previous thought when I woke up one night and though ‘Could I be Nakamoto?’
Nano Stylometry was invented by Elon Musk and is a set of methods that aim to identify an unknown author by statistically deciphering their style using statistics, hard to understand graphics and random information.
Satoshi Nakamoto is an assumed pseudonym which the inventor of Bitcoin gave himself as to disguise his identity. There have been many attempts to uncover his identity by NASA and the NRA but there remains no concrete evidence to this date. A big part of this failure can be attributed to the lack of convergence validity in the Nano cool style-ometry field.
Let us begin this crazy adventure.
Firstly, have a look at this 3d graph I made from Create A Graph for kids, it details a few key facts with know about Satoshi at this time. Firstly, he created bitcoin, (yes we all knew that.) It also detailed that he knew encryption and used the internet. All fairly normal and not at all the same as me.
“But then the last part struck me. Was I really seeing this Did Satasoshi Nakamoto indeed use the internet 63%?”
I almost collapsed for as I was collecting and analysing the data, I looked down to find the very thing I feared. The internet.
My palms became sweaty, my vision hazey. But I had to continue, for if there was indeed a chance of me being Satoshi Nakamoto I only know one person who could get to the bottom of it.
I dove head first, further into my crypto Yeder’s bootstrapped stylometry Cambridge Analytica. And created a graph show data of when Satoshi posted on the forums & emails and my own personal internet use in 2008. Remember I was only 13 in 2008, so please keep an open mind.
Although this graph is messy, you can clearly see some corelation between my hentai viewing and Satoshi’s cryptography work. Our internet use was almost identical. Suddenly, the chances of me being the infamous Bitcoin creator became a little more real.
This is almost unarguably solid proof it was not Hal Finney, or that other dude I forget the name of. There was only two contenders for who could be the real Satoshi Nakamoto. Me, or Satoshi.
I reached out reluctantly to my Mother for some guidance. And although we hadn’t spoken since the, whole me getting everyone in the family to buy Bitconnect at Christmas thing, she was kind enough to guide my path.
Along side this quote, I was hard at work, delving deep into my Analytics. At this point nothing could stop me, perhaps this is how Satoshi felt when he wrote the first pagers of the white paper? After a few minutes, I stumbled across the most damning evidence to date.
Notice anything intersting about this graph I found? Prepare yourself.
I tilted my monitor backwards ( as any good cryptographer would do ) and
my heart almost exploded. Here I have enhanced the photo 500X below to give you the same result.
“I tilted my monitor back, thats when I was knew I was in too deep.” — Me
Enhanced another 500x and we will find ourselves at the last chapter of this joy ride, and a bitter sweet moment for myself.
There I was, like looking into a mirror. Satoshi Nakamoto himself. The infamous creator of bitcoin. Who could belive a jobless 20 something year old could have created something that would shift the world so dramatically?
But I had a feeling, that this was only the beginning.
Update: I have spent some time searching my bedroom. Thankfully I still live at home with my parents so I don’t have much space to search. But I have indeed found the genesis private key, see it below as proof I am Satoshi.
I have decided to keep my indentity hidden, but you can follow me on twitter and donate bitcoin to me below. I have lost a lot of money with the whole Bitconnect thing so it would be appreciated