“If I have to hear All I Want for Christmas one more time,” Emma growled menacingly from beneath the festive mask she’d been assigned to wear for the holiday season. There was a different seasonal mask for every day, presumably so store associates could take them home and wash them, but Emma doubted that most of them did. It would have been cute, if the store logo hadn’t been prominently displayed across it like a watermark.
“You know we don’t have a choice. It’s this stupid playlist the boss insists on every year,” Talia said calmly, straightening the toy display that the last group of children apparently mauled in their holiday glee. …
If you find yourself experiencing more frustration than orgasms, it’s possible you might be plagued with bad partners — or you might be sabotaging your own sex life.
While problems around sex and intimacy often stem from early childhood, I’m not going to go back that far. Suffice it to say that our attachment styles and how our families approached these subjects had direct influences on the choices we’ve made and our perceptions of these areas — from the way they referred to our anatomy to how topics like masturbation and sexual activity were addressed. …
Sometimes I wonder what I might say to my former, less secure, younger self if I had the chance.
Would I warn myself about one-sided relationships? Would I advocate for self-love and more confidence? Would I talk about how much I wish I’d focused on learning rather than achievement? Would I tell myself to follow my dreams at all costs?
I look back at years of lessons learned the hard way and wonder what I might have done differently if I knew then what I now know.
Even if I could go back and speak to that person, would the younger me even listen? Probably not. After all, she thought she knew everything. And in the words of Elizabeth Gilbert, “You don’t know until you know.” …
I’ve been thinking lately that we should at least try not to hurt our lovers so much that we become something from which they need to recover. Hurt can’t be avoided in relationships. But we can do everything in our power to make sure that we take care not to do the kind of damage that creates lifelong consequences.
I am the result of people not taking care. I have a lifelong recovery ahead of me for abandonment issues and neglect at a deep emotional level. The truth is that most of the injuries to the wound were unnecessary. …
What do you want from me now
Why am I still waiting here
Trembling with longing, uncertain
That you’ll ever get past your fear
And I am here standing alone
The way that I’ve always been
Knocking on walls, not on doors
Begging that you’ll let me in
This is how it always begins
The cracks in the walls that I build
To keep me inside of the dream
That slowly your silence has killed
I’m watching all of it breaking
The cracks spreading as fast as they form
Every feeling for you I’ve had in me
Moves through me with the strength of a…
loneliness is a sign
you are in desperate
need of yourself.
While I am a fan of the poetry of Rupi Kaur, this particular poem makes me cringe every time I see it shared. Loneliness is not, in fact, a sign that we need more of ourselves. It’s a sign that we want more connection with other human beings. We don’t need to feel shame for something that every human being experiences at one time or another regardless of relationship status.
You can have all the love for yourself in the world and still have the desire to be in a healthy partnership with another human being. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way. It doesn’t make you any less independent, self-sufficient, or self-loving to yearn for a relationship. …
For so much of my life, I dreamed of being a writer.
It started when I was just a child. I can remember the early days of my writing, when I began to recognize the power of words. From poems to short stories, I began to string words together, crafting my art little by little. I saw even then how deeply words could resonate with the experience of others — and how validating that could be.
As I got older, I began to write more. I filled journal after journal with poetry and short stories. I spent every spare moment writing on napkins and torn notebook pages whatever thoughts came to mind. …
Tell the wild in you to wait
Your power is surely coming
Flowing through your fingertips
Can you hear the footsteps running
Tell the wild in you to linger
Not to be resigned to fears
The quiet life you’ve been dying in
Doesn’t have to be your future years
Feel the hunger growing now
The howling crawling up your spine
The magic dancing through you
While your heart is keeping time
Call the wild in you to life
Let your hair down and be free
Place your feet solid on the Earth
Then burn or fly or be
Embrace the feelings roaring through
Give name to this bright knowing
Cut out the weeds that bind around
To try to stop you now from…
Usually, I make November an entire month of gratitude. I find something to appreciate daily and work in random acts of kindness. But lately, I find myself wanting to commit random acts of insanity, like slapping the taste out of the mouths of anyone still not wearing a mask despite all science has taught us. Instead of focusing on the good in people, my eyes are drawn to everyone who won’t comply so that we can end the nightmare that is Covid.
It is incredibly disempowering to realize that Covid can only be controlled with a collaborative effort that isn’t going to happen with half the country touting the need for precautions and the other doing whatever the hell they want. Try reaching for gratitude while carrying that chip on your shoulder. …
Take a look at any family, and it’s easy to spot inherited traits. I don’t just mean hair color or facial features or body type. It’s easy to see generational patterns, particularly from a distance. Even inside families, it’s not hard to see our inherited quick tempers or struggles with anxiety. We all struggle with something. We don’t all get help for it.
When I was a child, I went home from school regularly for stomach aches. This went on for years. During a checkup in college, the doctor suggested that maybe my stomach problem was actually a stress problem. …