An introduction to MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way)
In this article, I summarise the philosophy of MGTOW and how men can use it to better their lives.
MGTOW or “Men Going Their Own Way” is a lifestyle, a philosophy and a movement that is growing among men of all countries, who have understood how modern society is vastly unfair to men and how they have to reject exploitative relationships with women in order to truly be free and have a good quality of life. It is growing in popularity in places as far apart as Japan, the nordic countries, India and USA. For example, in Japan this has partly resulted in a demographic crisis where boys are simply refusing to marry and prefer to remain single, although this lifestyle is not the only factor for that crisis.
Basics of the MGTOW philosophy
Instead of being a negative philosophy as it is often accused of, MGTOW is actually a very positive and life affirming philosophy at its core. A MGTOW is free to do as he wants, without being pressured by the gynocentric society to marry and do what his wife wants or what society thinks he should want.
In the relationships arena it works this way: If the MGTOW prefers no-commitment sexual relationships with multiple women, that is fine. If he prefers to be in a relationship with one woman (without the legal trappings that come with marriage), it is fine too. If he prefers to “go monk” and avoid relations with women completely, that is also fine. Changing between any of these roles is similarly fine as well.
The main philosophy in MGTOW is to live life stress free as one wishes, to pursue one’s interests and hobbies, earn money to spend on oneself as one likes, make life choices without any external pressure. One can follow any profession, from soldier to writer or artist, as per one’s interests. There is no need to earn extra money and get extra pressure to provide for one’s family and kids. This freedom from pressure to provide also allows the MGTOW extra time and mental space to engage in creative or relaxing activities outside of work, rather than the added marital tensions daily once he returns home from work. He can also use the added free time to make more friends, reconnect with old friends and have an active social life.
So in some ways, MGTOW has some similarity with philosophies like Taoism, which also advises one to be flexible and to be at one with nature and society without having fixed conceptions of how one should be or what one should do in life.
Many famous men in history could be said to be MGTOWs. Examples from past and recent Indian history include Buddha, Tulsidas, Bhagat Singh, Ratan Tata, Atal Bihari Vajpayee, APJ Abdul Kalam, Narendra Modi etc.
Reactions of wider society to MGTOWs
It is a different matter that much of the wider society is shocked by these lifestyles and do whatever they can to ridicule the MGTOWs as some sort of losers or woman haters, simply because they refuse to follow what the rest of society thinks is normal (a conventional married life, with wife and kids, living in a big flat or house working hard to pay off a huge debt on mortgage and huge expenses to take care of the wife and school fees for the kids and so on) and refuse to take what seems to be a huge risk to one’s well being.
In fact, contrary to what wider society believes, most MGTOWs I know in India and abroad have decent jobs, are earning good money, have no debt and have savings in the bank. Their expenses are low because their lifestyle is relatively simple.
The lifestyle of MGTOWs, and the growing number of men who are adopting this lifestyle, is a big problem for society mainly because society needs men who are wage slaves and committed to a woman for life. If these MGTOWs simply refuse to be part of the system, where will these women find the men to look after them? This is partly why there is no equivalent WGTOW (women going their own way) phenomenon in anything like the same numbers as MGTOWs. The feminists, who claim to be all for equality between men and women, yet want preferential laws and benefits for women alone, are unable to come to terms with this growing MGTOW phenomenon which exposes their hypocrisy so easily.
MGTOWs, of course, do not care what society thinks of them or how other people are behaving, rather they follow the live and let live kind of philosophy.
Why go MGTOW
MGTOWs have figured out that while sex is good in itself, it is not worth a lifetime of slavery where all one’s choices are constrained and one simply cannot be what one wants to be. On top of it, even sex with one’s girlfriend or wife becomes less frequent and less enjoyable as one gets older, often there is cheating by one or both the partners. The man works harder and harder and he is not in control of how the money is spent. Of course MGTOWs accept that there may be good women too, but just believe that the risk to commit to one woman and paying for her jewellery, clothes, kids’ schooling etc and forgoing one’s own interests for all of one’s life is not worth taking.
Also, if the marriage does not work out, the process of getting divorce is extremely stressful and very costly for the men (and beneficial and risk free for the women). This is because of the existing anti male laws and legal frameworks, that force the husband to pay huge maintenance and alimony for the wife and encourage false allegations against the husband. Such one sided gender biased laws, such as 498a/DV act in India and WAVA in USA, exist in all countries.
So for the men choosing to go MGTOW, the decision is almost too easy. On one hand it is the collective weight of anti male gynocentric biased laws and family courts, biased society, the prospect of seeing your hard earned money going at the service of a female partner who may just be using you to fulfil her needs and does not even love you. On the other hand there is the prospect of ditching such a prospect altogether and being free to take whatever lifestyle one chooses, work in whichever profession one wants and to spend one’s money in whatever way one likes.
If one goes MGTOW, they will have more money to spend, lower stress levels, less of job pressure because it doesn’t take much money to maintain a simple lifestyle, higher happiness levels because they can concentrate on what they really want to do in life.
Even sex, if that is the reason for the marrying a girl for life, is perhaps more likely to be more enjoyable and possible with multiple partners if one is not committed to one person.
MGTOWs vs MRAs (men’s rights activists )
Unlike men’s rights activists, MGTOWs do not seek to change the biased system such that it becomes equal for men and women. They have simply given up on the system and made a lifestyle choice: to not let every aspect of their lives, how they eat, how they spend money, whom they can be friends with etc be dictated by their female partners.
MGTOW is not an organized movement (unlike MRAs) with some central committee deciding where it should go and what actions to take, it is just individuals deciding that this is the only viable option left to them to live a peaceful life. So the MGTOWs are not men’s rights activists (although it is possible for some people to be both MGTOWs and MRAs).
Most MGTOWs I know have burnt their fingers already, by escaping from abusive marriages and victimized by biased gender laws (such as 498a anti-dowry law and domestic violent act in India) and a gynocentric society and court system. So they simply do not wish to repeat their mistake by marrying again. However, it is true that even in India, as in other countries, a growing number of young unmarried boys are wising up to the situation and steering clear of relationships.
Conclusion
So to conclude, MGTOW is a growing men’s lifestyle movement that tries to be clear of society dictated norms of marrying a woman and being in lifetime slavery. It is for all men to think carefully and to decide whether this is the lifestyle they might choose to take.
