My Cat Taught Me How to Love

C. S. Alejandro
Nov 5 · 4 min read

and other things my cat taught me.


I thought my cat hated me.

My cat, like many other cats, don’t really revel in get-in-your-face affection unlike dogs.

I wasn’t a cat person. I never thought I’d be one.

At least, not until I owned one.

I don’t think anyone becomes a cat person until they’ve really been with one.

As someone who has dogs, I thought it would be easy. I thought that if I saw my cat in dog-colored glasses, everything would be fine.

Was I wrong.

She hated rubs of any kind. She disliked petting, kissing, and cuddles. The only way we’d bond was when I’d give her food and she’d eat it.

I thought she hated me. Maybe she did.

That is, until I started treating her like a human.


When I first got her, I was a university student with impending deadlines every single week, and I couldn’t play with her as much as she wanted to.

I figured it was fine since cats were supposed to be low-maintenance.

She had so much pent up energy that she couldn’t use as an indoor cat, and she started jumping on my stuff. She’d jump on my tables, she’d jump on my counters, she’d even jump to get to the top of my dresser.

But the worst part is when she’d bite.

I don’t think cats bite maliciously when you pay them no mind, but I do think it’s a call for attention.

My cat wants her play time and I wasn’t giving it to her.

That caused her to misbehave. Not in a big way, but enough to frustrate me. Getting your toes bitten by a kitten as you try to sleep is not fun.

I got her a toy, and started playing with her more. I incorporated her playtime into my daily routine.

Now, the only time she gets near my toes is to either rub herself on it, or to lick it. Weird, I know, but I think it’s her way of saying she likes her human.


Cats are cute.

I’d rub my cat’s fur whenever I’m feeling stressed, and she’d always try to swat it away. I thought it was funny how cats always hated love and affection, like a spawn of Satan.

Surely the love that I give my cat is the correct way? I’d dote on her, and pet her whenever I wanted to, and laugh it off when she shows clearly dislikes it.

I loved carrying her. She didn’t. Unsurprisingly, I got scratches. I would blame it on her.

One day I tried something different.

Instead of rubbing her fur whenever I wanted to, I’d put my finger near her nose for her to inspect. She’d sniff it. If she wanted rubs, she’d automatically do it, and I’d gladly oblige. If she didn’t want it, she’d turn away and I won’t force it on her.

Instead of picking her up anytime, I would lean and offer her my shoulder. She’d come closer if she wanted to be carried.

I would do this consistently.

Needless to say, she started trusting me more.

Now she sleeps at the foot of my bed and wakes me up in the morning by sniffing my face and occasionally licking me. Sometimes she’s the one who makes me pet her.

She’s not a spawn of Satan, she just wants me to respect her personal space.


My cat taught me more. When she’s not feeling well, she doesn’t tell me. Instead, she hides in a corner. She doesn’t make a sound, nor does she cry.

I came home one day with spots of blood on the floor. She’s pregnant.

Except, she wasn’t pregnant anymore.

She gave birth while I was away. We weren’t expecting her delivery until another week. I inspected the little blobs and found that she had a miscarriage. The vet later told us that my cat might have been hiding a few days prior because she had felt it coming.

When we finally cleaned up, that’s when my cat showed herself and started meowing.

It was raspy, like she had been doing it for hours while I was away. My next door neighbor told me she started doing that from the moment I went out, which is why her voice was so raspy.

We got her checked up, and she was quiet the entire time. Thankfully, there were no other complications that arose.

When we got back, she snuggled against me. That’s the only time she started purring again.

She’s fine now, and hyper as always. But that taught me to check up on people and listen not only to what they’re saying, but also to what they aren’t. She taught me to check up on friends who seem like they aren’t going through anything.

They usually are.


Cats may not seem affectionate nor responsive in our view because we’re so used to dogs. We think cats express the same emotions dogs do, and give affection the same way.

It’s the same with us humans. Not everyone loves the same way. Not everyone shows how they feel the same way, and not everyone receives love the same way. That’s why we have different kinds of love languages.

She has constantly taught me the value of respecting other people’s space, and reminds me that consent is important. Surely if cats understand that, we humans should as well.

My cat taught me that being low-maintenance is not the same as low-commitment.

Her being around me reminds me of the importance of follow-through, and finishing what I’d intended to start.

This cat has taught its human how to empathize more, and how to understand others more.

I’ve adopted her almost a year ago, and she has taught me many, many things. I’m sure I’m going to keep learning for the next decade or two.

I don’t think my cat hates me anymore…

… most of the time.

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