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Authenticity | Writing | Self | Health | Productivity

Get Real: Find Your Super Self Without Trying

“Dream as if you will live forever; Live as if you will die today.”
― James Dean

Happiness isn’t finding your place in the world. Happiness is finding the world’s place in you. Smart, driven, honest, relentless. You like what’s real because it can’t be faked. You know what you’re looking for and won’t stop. You will talk it out, if it makes sense, and if everyone plays by the rules and with respect.

That’s the value of expression and authenticity. When we find out who we are and what we connect to most effective in the world, we start to find a balance in us true to both.

There are two sides to authenticity, one is inside you, your authentic self, and the other, your adaptive self, which looks out and deals with the world.


1: true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character; is sincere and authentic with no pretensions
2: worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact; paints an authentic picture of our society

Authenticity is a knotted rope. We see ourselves on one end, and the world’s expectations on the other. The balance point in between is who we are inside, and how we manage life on the outside. Living authentically is hard. Who are you? Do you dance on a table or is the world your stage? Or both?

Authenticity means remembering the unique part of who we are, and sharing what we need to balance our truth and identity. But like a mirror, the world shows us a reflection, not our true self.

We need our individuality. Yet today, it can feel like being ourselves isn’t enough. We feel most authentic when our needs are met and we can chart our own destiny. Authenticity can reduce this stress. When we know we stand in the right, and stay true to our beliefs, there is less conflict to worry about.

Here is Authenticity in Action

Kristin Bell is Openly Authentic

Putting yourself out there is a risk. But she knows if you hide, you miss opportunities. Bell walks in her own size. She refuses to become someone she isn’t. Character grows when you’re yourself.

Clearly, she is a builder. She has been supporting animal rights since she was eleven. She’s on social media like a toddler on a Nugget play couch. Her wealth of ads streams into homes 171, 000 times a month.

I invite her in every day, she looks like my neighbor but smiles more with less tone. She shows all of us how to wash better, look better, and decorate better. She co-founded a company for safe, affordable products for kids. Because all kids are the future. I believe her. Thanks for wrapping up that mystery Veronica.

James Dean is Deeply Authentic.

He was a realist and a cowboy. He made his own rules. He would attend appearances barefoot in dirty jeans, and I will stop there about hygiene, except to say he wasn’t comfortable in his own skin. That’s authenticity. Maybe too much. He seemed troubled but headfirst was his method.

One thing he learned was that creators are destined to be lonely. Creativity and drive are all you have. It’s not easy to be a good actor. Or a good man. Dean wanted to be both. He was lonely but knew that what was inside him, was what he gave to the world. He was true to himself. He kept his truth inside because the light would crush it. Being connected stokes fear, but we can’t escape our social nature. Honestly, things would be pretty dull if we did.

Audrey Hepburn is Truly Authentic.

Her father left when she was young. She was displaced and left homeless by war, and this changed her feeling about life and attachment forever. She ate grass to survive. She nearly starved. People thought she was frail. Malnourishment stunted her growth, but not her spirit. It also gave her a perfect frame for dancing.

She reached out to help those in need. She was a teen spy passing secrets to the resistance. Then she battled Hollywood. But for the bigger part of life, she chose to lift African children from poverty for over 40 years. When conflict arose, she played the innocent. But inside she was a tigress, an iron fist in a velvet glove. She was many things to many people; authenticity always has more than one side.

Authenticity Means

  1. Speaking your opinions honestly and reflect on yourself objectively.
  2. Making decisions that align with your values and testing them.
  3. Trusting yourself to be true to yourself so others trust you.
  4. Standing up so people respect you for backing your beliefs.
  5. Knowing what’s needed to take control of your life and develop.
  6. Let yourself be open and listen to the inner voice guiding you forward.
  7. Developing empathy to care for yourself and others.
  8. Knowing you have the strength to deal with problems quickly and justly.

Things you can do

  1. Observe yourself objectively to develop authenticity.
  2. Examine family belief systems to develop authenticity.
  3. Open a dialogue between the Adaptive Self and the Authentic Self.
  4. Try to become aware of discrepancies between your actions and beliefs.
  5. Develop the courage to face your fears.

One more thing you can do. Follow me for more if this was interesting, useful and authentic. Thanks!

Read More

If you liked this tip for making life better, you will find Alice Jay’s content here on Medium https://medium.com/@alicejayz very interesting and useful.

There are numerous perspectives and sources on authenticity, here are two I used.

Develop Authenticity: 20 Ways to Be a More Authentic Person

Vess, M. (2019). Varieties of conscious experience and the subjective awareness of one’s “true” self. Review of General Psychology, 23(1), 89–98.



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Sean Cordes

Sean Cordes

Fiction, photos, tips, poems. Passed the third degree, at times steamy, love family, llamas, & fun. Quick and Dirty Reads Editor http://medium.com/quick-dirty