It Could Be Worse
It can be easy to forget just how amazing our lives are. At times insightful hash tags such as #FirstWorldProblems provide a rational reminder that things, theoretically, could be worse.
Unfortunately, what we KNOW rationally only loosely affects how we FEEL.
Imagine if we could control our emotions with thoughts alone.
You’ve had a bad day: you got a red light ticket from an intersection spy camera, your boss trashed the project you have been working on for 4 months, your A/C broke and you just heard you have to shell out 7k for a new one, and the woman that hit YOUR car with HER car door flipped you the bird for parking to close to her SUV.
Now, if you were truly in control of your mind you could think to yourself “this day has been considerably better than working in a sweat shop in Malaysia” or “at least I am not eating a bowl of rice as my first meal of the week for dinner tonight” or “I’m just happy that my neighborhood is not a battlefield right now because my people believe they have a right to think freely about religion” or “luckily I or someone in my family didn’t get diagnosed with a medical illness today.”
It’s possible that this rational thought may give you some temporary perspective. You may suddenly feel a little calmer, or a little less anxious. You may concentrate on the abstract ideas of people you have never met, while you try to empathize with their plights as you have seen them on YouTube or in the news. You may even recognize your own kindness for thinking about others.
But I predict that you will inevitably experience a negative emotion again at some point in the future (likely when you get home and see the A/C bill with your own eyes). This wise perspective will not last indefinitely.
Conscious thought is fleeting. It is like a whisper on top of the whirlwind of excitement and sadness and boredom and courage and regret and ambition and introspection that IS who YOU ARE at any one moment in time.
Focusing on negatives in other peoples lives may not be an effective way to cheer up when you are feeling down. Instead we can try and focus on the positives in other areas of our lives. However, the same problem remains: thought is fleeting.
Our thoughts deeply influence who we become, and forge the way our minds grow, learn, and feel. They build the foundation of who we are over time, like a sculpture slowly revealing itself as an artisan painstakingly chips off marble a few dust sized particles at a time.
Something happens that makes us feel. Instead of keeping an open mind and reflecting on new experiences, both positive and negative, we sometimes spiral down a path of interconnected conscious thought that eventually leads to a series of thoughts entirely different from the original.
In the end though, this “spiral” of thought starts with a feeling and ends with a feeling. Everything in between is temporary. Not necessarily the memory of the occurrence, but the specific thoughts will be forgotten within the day, or month, or year. The particulars of the internal dialogue and angry words stemming from your current boss’s clear lack of vision, the unreasonable cost to replace your A/C, and the rudeness of the lady in the parking lot will fade.
However, the emotional impression these experiences carve DEEP WITHIN adds to the internal sculpture that is the REAL you.
It’s important we try to consciously think about our thoughts and feelings, to recognize and at least manage them to some degree. Whether it is self-aggrandizing to build up “confidence” and stand a chance of standing out in this competitive world (the arrogant youth) or self-deprecation after a life of failing to meet goals that were “just out of reach” (due to our nature to ALWAYS want more), our thoughts are not adding value to our own lives, the lives of people we care about, or to making the world a better place in general.
There is a reason why Eastern Religion and mental exercises such as meditation have helped billions of people live more fulfilled lives throughout history: because it makes perfect logical sense. Control the thoughts and emotions in your conscious mind and deep within you carve strength, resilience, and wisdom directly into your personality.
My best advice (although advice is much easier given then lived): remove the swirl of non-value adding thoughts floating around in your head as quickly as possible if you want to prevent “negativity” from being a fundamental part of the internal sculpture that is you.
