Emojis. They’re a strange step towards the simplification of language that George Orwell predicted in 1984. The only difference is millennials and the desire to look hip are leading the charge, not Big Brother.
They can be intimidating at first, so to help you connect with your beloved child, here are 7 useful phrases for parents and older relatives to jumpstart conversations this holiday season.
1. “Are you seeing anyone? I’ve been doing a lot of praying that you meet a nice young woman. You don’t want to go through life alone. You must be so lonely.”
2. “The cat missed you so much.”
3. “Are you making sure you eat healthy food and exercise? I read something online that said gluten was basically rat poison so now we have gluten free Fridays at work.”
4. “What does Netflix and chill mean?”
5. “What apps should I get for my phone? The Today Show had a segment about smartphones getting viruses. How do you know which apps have viruses?”
6. “Have you started saving for retirement?”
7. “How is your friend…um…Matt…doing? No not Matt. The one you went to high school with that had that car and lives in New York now. Steve? Jeremy? Yeah Jeremy. I was close.”
You probably aren’t ready for the offensive things Grandpa is planning to say at the dinner table, but you are now ready to talk to your child.