That urge to type on a beautiful keyboard
Noms, sometimes, you have beautiful realisations or glimpses of the beauty of everyday life. An example that I’m feeling right now, is that beautiful click sound that a MacBook Air keyboard makes, the accomplished feeling you get with every tap and click of the keyboard. I’m craving typing something long and beautiful, but not based off of something I read. But something original and lengthy and just for myself.
Something that isn’t dictated by others, or by what I need to do, or what others want. Purely mine. Purely my voice, my thoughts, my opinion and for my pleasure. When was the last time, that I wrote something purely for my own pleasure? I forgot how amazing it felt creating a story for myself, without that constant nagging from fictionary audiences in my mind; without the pressure to produce something ‘top quality’ that would rise the ranks of whoever’s opinions. I get it now. The feeling of just sitting in front of your desk and pouring out YOUR own soul, not selling it out by shaping it into something unrecognisable by yourself because of the public. Creativity does not work that way.
I want this feeling to stay with me, to be reminded of the thrill of truly FREE creation. Creation untethered from the judgement of others, the expectations of society and my own critics. I don’t need to stop, review and think critically about whatever I had just written, crafted, drawn, etc. Create first, and foremost, for my own soul. Whether I like it myself, or whether the world thinks it’s weird, can be up for them to judge.
That must be how a child feels like, drawing freely based purely on their imagination and pleasure. Not being hindered by what they pre-emptively think the world would say about their crayon drawings. I want to go back to that stage, where I was able to create comics and characters without the fear of the world thinking it’s weird. Where I was able to create new cool monsters/characters that I could daydream along with.
I will get back there.