Patrick Kill 2.0You can only get cancelled so many times before the world realizes the hypocrisy involved in the entire woke movement. I’ve spent more than…Nov 7, 2022Nov 7, 2022
Do Not Panic! I Repeat: Do NOT Panic!Here Are Some Alternative Ways of Thinking To Help Calm Yourself Down When Being Hunted By The Perfect Killing Machine, the CoronavirusMar 21, 2020Mar 21, 2020
HOW THE PANDEMIC HAS CHANGED THE HEADLINESWithin a matter of just days, the media has shifted its attention to the Covid-19 threat in the United States. Headlines once focused on…Mar 14, 2020Mar 14, 2020
Groundhog’s Day: A Redneck VariationSo this is the day that all Midwesterners look forward to. After a long and hellish, cold-as-fuck winter, the groundhog awakens from a long…Feb 2, 2020Feb 2, 2020
Potholes, Portals and Pissy Women (Why Winter Sucks, Part 2)Down the road from my house, there’s a certain pothole I hit everyday. It’s covered in snow, and it seems to move around on me. I make a…Jan 13, 2020Jan 13, 2020
When Snowmen Go Wild (Why Winter Sucks, Part 1)It’s all a matter of your own perception, I guess, but…Jan 6, 2020Jan 6, 2020
Top-10 Serial Killers You’ve Never Heard Of Who Quit After The Media Gave Them Dumb NicknamesAll of these serial killers still remain at large, obviously too embarrassed to ever kill again for fear of getting caught and linked to…Jan 4, 2020Jan 4, 2020
Top-10 Most Anticipated Porn Spoofs of 2020Almost all of my last year’s Woodies predictions came true as I highlighted the top-12 porn spoofs of 2019 at:Dec 21, 2019Dec 21, 2019
Published inDown in the DingleThe Inspirational Story of How My Latest Company, Toys For Tits, Came To BeAt a bar on Christmas Eve, my friend Smiley and I were discussing the D-Cup breasts of the girl he had picked up the night before at a…Dec 20, 2019A response icon6Dec 20, 2019A response icon6
