Stop Waiting for a Sign. Give Yourself Permission to Take Action.

Moving Out! The Last photo in our home in San Diego before relocating 2800 miles to Lancaster, South Carolina.

It is amazing how limiting our own psyche 🧠 can be. As a species we are adept at creating excuses which is what makes the doers of the world so inspiring.

Much of this entry was originally written as a response to Jon Westenberg 🌈blog post, “One Habit Will Make You a Successful Creative Or A Failed Founder.” In his post, Westenberg notes that the primary habit of successful people is execution. Good ideas aren’t worth anything without effective action on those ideas. Furthermore, people often fail to take action on an idea because:

  1. Inaction preserves the “fantasy of success” and thus eliminates the chances of failure 🔥 and rejection 😔.
  2. They lack the courage to take action. Westenberg quotes Bill Murphy to say, “We don’t feel powerful enough to give ourselves permission, and thus we use the lack of external permission as an excuse.”

I was listening to Gary Vaynerchuk’s book, Crushing It and he also has a chapter called Permission. I hadn’t thought about the concept of permission until now and it is really thought provoking.

We do wait for “signs” or some sort of cosmic alignment 🌙 ☀️ to help reassure ourselves that the big decision we are about to make is the right one. We seek validation and then adhere to artificial constructs to confirm our inaction when the validation doesn’t come. We use confirmation bias to further justify that inaction while failing to adequately measure the opportunity cost of not taking action.

I used to think a dedicated and consistent work routine was the path to accomplishment, professional satisfaction and ultimately happiness. Opportunities would eventually present themselves because of my hard work and devotion to my craft and employer.

This was stupid 🤦🏻‍.

I now see most traditional work arrangements as environments that “reward personal sacrifice instead of personal productivity” (Tim Ferriss). Antiquated social constructs that gives shelter to limiting thoughts and actions thereby providing a socially acceptable excuse for denying execution. Tim Ferriss describes this as “fear of the unknown disguised as optimism.” Without permission, “most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty.” I know I did.

San Diego is beautiful and will always be a part of me.

In our pursuit of success and happiness, my family has taken yet another step as members of the “New Rich.” To increase the currency of time ⏳ and mobility 🚲, we have relocated from San Diego, California to Lancaster, South Carolina (just outside of Charlotte). We are practicing geographic arbitrage- the cost of living in South Carolina is roughly 25% cheaper than San Diego and the median home price is nearly 50% cheaper (we are looking at homes that are L I T E R A L L Y half the cost and twice the size of our house in San Diego).

Trading in the Coast for Country to allow for an improved quality of life and a greater chance of success for Stylehawk.

This simple math gives Stylehawk Event Services an extended runway and allows my family to live a much more healthy lifestyle. Finances 💵 are no longer suffocating and we gained flexibility to invest in the business, pursue hobbies, travel and explore other experiences that have been long neglected. In The 4- Hour Workweek, Tim Ferriss asks,

“How can one achieve the millionaire lifestyle of complete freedom without first having $1,000,000?”

Well… this is a move in that direction for us.

When I started Stylehawk Event Services, I would have never dreamed that I could run the business from anywhere 🌎 I wanted. The business has changed though. The focus on venue sourcing has made the realities of a remote business possible. We have a number of clients who have us sourcing sport event venues all over the country. These remote sourcing opportunities were good case studies in the distance model. Regardless of where I am located, San Diego and Southern California is still home for Stylehawk. Stylehawk is a relationship based business. We need to stay in touch with our event clients and venue partners. Technology makes this easier, but I will be in Southern California frequently to maintain relationships, support events and stay up- to- date. We will also continue to expand the Venue Directory into more markets. One of the goals for the upcoming year is to grow the directory and the educational content exponentially. I would like for Stylehawk to morph into a publication that creates powerful marketing opportunities for our partners. This broader geography allows for greater expansion and eventually more marketing clout.

Moving a family of five 2800 miles away from “home” is scary. I love San Diego… I’ve lived there most of my life and much of my family is still there. We had a great home, good friends and amazing family support. It was hard to leave. I am fortunate though. My wife and kids were up for the adventure and shared my same desire to improve the lives we were living. We are no longer seeking external permission. We weren’t happy and we decided to do something about it. We executed on an idea we had often discussed. Turns out, after you make a few of these hard decisions in life, they get easier.

We are less than two weeks into our new lives, but so far, so good.

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