Q&A: Mental Wellness During a Pandemic

The dawn of the coronavirus era, and the subsequent destruction of lives, jobs, and normalcy, has stirred up a distinct cocktail of emotions in our collective consciousness. Fear. Hopelessness. Frustration. Grief. Restlessness. Panic. Anger. Life in 2020 has not been easy, to say the least.

If you haven’t been in the best headspace during this tumultuous time, you are not alone and your feelings are valid. More than ever, it’s important to be gentle with ourselves and take time to care for our mental wellbeing as well as physical.

And if you’re not quite sure how to do that, keep reading — we might have an answer for you.

How do you cope with feelings of loneliness from not being able to see people?

Humans are fundamentally social animals, so it’s completely normal for a period of enforced isolation to hit hard. It also means, though, that we need to put in extra effort to maintain social connections and keep our sense of community alive.

As you may have realized by now, virtual meetings aren’t a perfect substitute for face-to-face, but they are still valuable for keeping in touch with loved ones. Make sure that you schedule recurring video calls with friends and family at specific times of the day/week. Scheduling is useful because it (a) provides structure to your routine, which is something you might also be missing right now; (b) saves you the hassle of constantly setting up calls; and (c) makes it easier to keep track of who you’re staying in touch with.

If you’re feeling particularly lonely because friends and family haven’t been reaching out to you, remember that withdrawing from the world can be tempting right now. Everyone is battling the same struggle between falling into isolation versus expending the mental energy to stay in touch with people. It might be a good idea to initiate contact with people yourself — especially if you haven’t heard from them in a while, or they live alone, they may be grateful for you checking in with them.

Physical contact is also crucial for our sense of wellbeing; we’re wired to touch and be touched by other living things. Chronic lack of it is called touch starvation, and it heightens feelings of stress and depression. However, right now, practicing social distancing is a top priority. So here are some ways you can stay safe while also getting a dose of physical contact:

• If you live with other people and if you feel comfortable doing so, try giving them more hugs!
• Cuddle with pets, if you have them!
• Consider extending your quarantine ‘bubble’ to someone outside your household, whom you could have physical contact with (be very cautious: this is ONLY if all parties involved are at low risk and are following safety measures strictly).
• Weighted blankets, body pillows, and warm showers — all good ways to simulate human touch without needing anyone else.

How do you deal with the uncertainty of not knowing when the pandemic will end?

“What we can’t cure, we have to endure.” Uncertainty is not something we’re good at dealing with, but unfortunately, it happens to be baked into every layer of this pandemic. We have no idea when things will go back to normal or when we’ll get a vaccine, and we won’t find out anytime soon. It’s extremely tempting to go down information rabbit holes and get sucked into reading the latest COVID statistics, theories, and predictions, searching desperately for any indicators of the future. But gaining more information gives us the illusion that we’re gaining more control over the situation when in reality we’re just making ourselves more anxious. So instead of grasping at certainty, it’s more productive to confront and accept uncertainty.

What can help is breaking things down into two categories: things outside your control and things within your control. Things outside your control, like the number of cases in your area or when the pandemic will end, are what you want to work on letting go of. Things within your control, like your day-to-day routine or following safety measures, are what you want to direct more mental energy towards. Take things one day, one week at a time, and focus as best you can in the present moment.

Image from TheCounselingTeacher.com

Of course, this is easier said than done. Reframing thoughts is a skill that takes time and practice; it doesn’t happen overnight. Here are 3 steps to guide you through it:

1. Notice and recognize when a thought about something out of your control pops up. Again, this takes practice — we usually get carried into a worrisome thought spiral without even realizing. With time, you’ll get better at ‘catching’ the thought right when it appears.
2. Use a physical or verbal cue to ‘break’ the train of thought. What you’re doing here is interrupting the worry, moving your mind away from that path. You could clap your hands, tap your foot, or say “Stop” out loud.
3. Redirect your attention immediately to more productive or present-focused thought. You could have a few preset topics for this, e.g. what you’re cooking tonight, what your plans for the week are, what good things happened today. It can be anything, as long as it makes you feel better to think about and it’s about something within your control.

How do you deal with anxiety about getting COVID-19?

Having some amount of fear in a pandemic is completely justified; in fact, it would be more surprising if you didn’t. The fear response is what keeps us aware of the danger and motivates us to stay safe. But when this response is kicked into overdrive, it produces anxiety, which often paralyzes and debilitates us. Anxiety can be amplified by the news and social media, which tends to sensationalize negative or distressing stories. Therefore, it’s a good idea to carefully curate your media diet — consume just enough news to stay informed, but not enough news to send you into panic. Ideas for how to create a healthy media diet include:

• Enforcing time limits (e.g. 30 minutes per day) on how long you can spend looking at the news.
• Setting a certain time of day (e.g. right before you go to bed) to read the news.
• Considering which social media sources are beneficial to your wellbeing, and deleting the ones that are not. Stick to sources with trusted, scientifically verified information.
• Subscribing to daily newsletters (The New York Times, The Hindu, and many other news outlets have them) which deliver the day’s highlights in a neat package to your inbox.

Another perspective to offer is that anxiety is, essentially, fear of the unknown; because we don’t know if/how/when we might get infected, we spiral out into a million different worst-case scenarios. A key to dealing with anxiety, then, is to confront the unknown head-on. Make it known, make it real, make it not “if” but “when”. And then, make a game plan for it. Get out a pen and paper and, as scary as this might be, really think about a situation in which you get infected with the coronavirus. What does that look like? What would you do? Obviously, it’s impossible to know all the specifics, but in as much detail as you can, write down the steps you (and the people you live with) would realistically take. If you get stuck, here are some questions you could answer:

• Who will I call for help?
• What hospital/clinic would I go to if my symptoms worsen?
• How will I quarantine myself? How will I get food?
• Where do I need to go to get tested for COVID-19?
• What do the people I live with (if any) need to do?
• Is there any medication I should stock up on?
• How will I take leave from employment (if any)?

Hopefully, this can ease your worries and instill some confidence in you; that if you do get infected, you’ll be able to handle it. And even if it doesn’t, you still have a plan, which will take a lot of stress off of you when the situation arises because you’ve already prepared ahead.

Lastly, take a deep breath. It’s okay not to be okay right now, and you’re handling things the best you can. Be kind to yourself and others, and remember to stay safe. We’re all in this together :)

This article was written by Rithana Srikanth, with assistance from Dr. Shubha Madhusudhan.