A Year and a Half

One of my college besties was also my academic and philosophical adversary. We were both philosophy majors and despite caring for each other deeply, we rarely saw eye to eye. He used to tell me he would do better on his papers if he imagined arguing with me. One thing he hated that I loved doing is celebrating everything. I celebrated small victories which he equated to celebrating mediocrity, a dangerous thing in his eyes, because it could lead to complacency. I observed my favorite holiday, Valentine’s Day by mailing care packages to my friends. He equated that to accommodating Hallmark. It irked him when I made everything a ceremony. I wish I could go back in time and better explain why this was important to me. Maybe if I defended myself with words, it would internally clarify why I should protect this habit of mine. Because through the years, I’ve let people’s cynicism and eye-rolling chip away at my unabashed commemorating of small milestones and holidays.

The popular argument is if you truly love someone, every day is special. You don’t need Mother’s Day to call your mom. You don’t need Valentine’s Day and anniversaries to honor the relationship. All true, but I think a sad fact of the human condition is to take your everyday for granted. If you don’t consciously break away, the mundane just hums along and very slowly it can desensitize us to beauty and love. Holidays and the like, if I don’t see them as marketing strategies, and simply see them as built-in reminders to stop and reflect on who and what I have in my life, they could actually serve me by waking me up and reminding me to see with fresh eyes.

Today marks a year and half with Sugarface. Not a full anniversary, but I’m honoring it anyway. Yesterday, my laptop froze during a podcast recording, causing me to lose my track of the recording for the second time in a month. I came out of the room affected and cranky and said something about how I may need to buy another laptop soon. Another expensive purchase on my horizon. Sugarface, who already had a long day himself, took some time to wrestle stubborn screws from my laptop to clean out the dust that might be causing it to overheat. It reminded me that this week he also helped me with car troubles. And how last week he drove me to and from work. He’s in my corner. And I’m in his. And together, we’ve tackled caring for two rambunctious dogs and long road trips. We hiked, slurped all the noodles, argued, danced, and watched countless shows. And there’s still more.

And I can’t wait to celebrate it all.

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