Turn failure around by being deliciously yourself
Ryan Holiday published the book ‘The Obstacle is the Way’ in 2014. The title itself brings about goosebumps but the book has made the Wall Street Journal’s number 1 best seller list. It has been in the palms of sports stars, movie stars, and famous rappers. It was inspired by former Roman Emperor and Stoic Marcus Aurelius who quipped:
The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.
The book contains many stories of people who survived overwhelmingly difficult circumstances in their lives to become better.
I LOVE STORIES!
We can spend our lives being so preoccupied with other people’s stories that we do not create our own. And we may love other people’s stories so much that we want to make them ours. We may not even like the hand dealt us that we live out the stories others have written for us. I have made these mistakes. But I am now at a place where every day is an adventure. I am discovering new things about myself (it is fascinating and wonderful) and what that means for my future and the world.
Listen here (to that little voice in your head that is narrating this to you). You were designed so precisely that, that nose you cannot stand, and those big eyes, and those thin lips, and that wispy hair, make you deliciously you. Just like water exists to sustain life; the way you have been put together is exactly what we all need.
So, how do you start to go about being deliciously you?
Have patience with the process.
It is important to take the time to erase the noise of the world and recalibrate your thoughts by being with yourself. You must acknowledge your humanity and so, you need to learn to withdraw. This will help you navigate through all the unexpected things that may happen to you in your daily life.
You are a complex being. Any physiological suffering can impact your emotions.
Take the time to be mindful of where your thoughts are. What is your body feeling (are you tired or hungry)? If you are still not okay after eating and resting, then examine your mind some more and speak with someone that can guide you through the process.
Also,
Try and find some time to go outside and absorb some sunlight.
Take a moment to appreciate the fact that your lungs are taking in the air around you. And, that flowers have colors that you cannot even name. That there are insects that terrify you.
Take in all of that and realize that you are part of all the miracles in universal orbit. A small but significant part, existing like everything else, with a purpose.
Rinse and repeat and with time, your outlook will be radically different.
Revisit the dreams you shelved.
That high school teacher that thought you would not amount to anything infected you with an illness. And we usually do not know how to medicate such an infection, so we nurture it by ignoring its impact. Then in moments of weakness, we ruminate and resurrect it, empowering it to rule over our imagination and allow it to consume and paralyze us.
But what do those misguided words have to do with finally picking up that guitar and learning how to play it (speaking to myself here… I have a dust-encrusted Crescendo in my wardrobe)?
Why isn’t your short story published yet?
Why are you not looking up the perfecting-puff-pastry techniques that are freely available on YouTube?
Why are you not busy making horrible yet gainful mistakes?!
Enjoy every breath-taking moment!
Okay, so now the brain is on overdrive with excuses. Let me get in your face right there. Stop it!
You’re human remember? Be humble enough to acknowledge that you are not omnipotent. And be brave enough to fail.
The goal here isn’t to be an expert… it is to get more familiar with who you are. So, while you learn something new… enjoy learning some new things about YOU. And then let us enjoy those discoveries with you! Whatever you’re good at is for our pleasure and flourishing too.
Who Am I to be telling you all of this?
A woman that resigned from her job after months of weeping from misery. It just did not align with who I am created to be. And because I will die if I don’t eat, I had to evaluate the following:
- What have I learned in the past 14 years of work that would be helpful to me today?
- What do I have at my disposal (computer, internet, brain, etc.)?
- What do I enjoy doing that has the potential to yield an income?
- What are the immediate needs I can identify in my environment?
- What do I have now in terms of experiences, resources, and skills that can meet the needs I see around me?
This is a simplistic overview of how to proceed in being beautifully you, and I hope it is a helpful summary. I have described my process of getting to an incredibly happy place and yours will most likely be entirely different. But it will remain in the unknown until you try. Now… go and start!! And have tons of fun.
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