Heath, I appreciate you picking up on this and giving me the opportunity to see if I was hasty in my response.
As a giver of unconditional love, I can still love while seeing the insidious way social conditioning can impact on the way we relate to each other. Whilst I can accept that maybe this in particular is a human issue, I have only experienced it as a woman.
I have of course heard from some men similar ruminations as is mentioned in the main article; overall however, and in general, because I am referring to the generalisation of the patriarchal society as opposed to the men and women and everyone in between who have evolved beyond that, I stand by my observation. If people (though in this case I am responding to a woman) allow themselves to feel all their complicated emotions and be vulnerable with them, the uncertainty and insecurity we so often feel in new relationships, romantic or otherwise, will begin to breakthrough that presence of shame around liking someone and wanting to spend time with them and connect to them (and communicate this to them).
Maybe I am mixing up my tags and labels here though I sort of see that as indicative of the bigger process that is going on. It is a mix up of all sorts of things, yet I stand by my original comment — the generalisation that is referred to when talking of the patriarchy is real, there are many thousands of men and women learning what that means, altering their ways of being and how they think, beginning to bring balance.
The seemingly simple act of a woman letting a man that she has been dating know that she likes him enough to be more is an act against the patriarchy because the entire article is about second guessing him and what her feelings will do to him and the subsequent effect on her — he has the power. The opposite scenario, a man telling a woman the same thing is, in my opinion, the same, because he is also fighting against the patriarchal belief that all men are strong and not emotional (read this for what this is, not what it makes you feel) and therefore if he were to tell her as such, he is making himself vulnerable to her possible unconscious judgments.
It would seem I can go on and on about this so I’m going to stop here! Thank you for making me think.