3 Lessons I Learned at a Racism Workshop
Aug 27, 2017 · 3 min read

Being a believer in reflecting upon my lived experiences each day, I want to share 3 things I realized after attending a racism workshop today. I tangled with some older white men and needed to understand my inner responses. I am writing this to my white friends, with the hope that my learning experience might be of help in the justice work we must do.
Disclaimer: this workshop was aimed at white clergy and laity in my denomination. In my context, many churches are white, rural, economically disadvantaged, and struggling to keep the doors open.
- Have no expectations. I went to this workshop expecting a lame and mediocre gathering where white privilege would reign, white tears would be shed, and white fragility held up as a trophy. I also expected to have more knowledge regarding white privilege than most folks there. I could not have been more wrong. Our presenter was phenomenal, well-trained, and had over 20 years of justice work under her belt. She knew her stuff. I also was surprised by how many other clergy had worked on dismantling their privilege and were unafraid to speak truth to white supremacy and racism. My expectations got in the way of fulfilling my desire to listen, practice the platinum rule, and remain detached as a non-anxious presence.
- Watch for my triggers. I am a survivor of domestic violence. In our open discussions, two older white men repeatedly used a tactic my ex used — arguing against something I never said, by accusing me of saying it. Another’s voice dripped incessantly with mansplaining. Over a 5 hour workshop, these constant triggers messed with me. I fell into the trap of feeling threatened, needing to defend myself, and wanting to rage at them. All of this is exactly how my ex coerced me into a fight, that he then used to justify beating me. It’s been a while since I experienced that — and I missed the triggers. At the workshop, I was in a safe space, surrounded by people who know and care about me. Leaving for a bit would have been the right thing to do — for me. Then, I could practice self-care before coming back to the table.
- Let go. Everyone at this workshop was in a different place along the spiral of dismantling privilege and understanding racism. I realized I have been very focused on the folks ahead of me, so I could keep working on me, and not being compassionate toward those just beginning this journey. I wrestle with impatience and intolerance toward people who throw all the standard excuses back (anyone want to play Racist Denial Bingo?) and recognizing that not too long ago I was where they are. I must work on me, do what I can to provide opportunities for others to do their work, and then let go of whether they get it. I can continue to work toward changing the system and continue to speak truth, without taking responsibility for the scales falling from other white folks’ eyes.
Take what you like and leave the rest. These are my lived experiences, shared for hope and strength — not as prescriptives. Peace and love for the journey …
