Day 56

I slept through most of today and finished up the latest season of Orange is the New Black. Also started on the second season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, which is a pretty lighthearted show to watch.

I went to Red Robin with friends and wound up ordering an Oreo milkshake (the only non-alcoholic of those we ordered because I can’t drink alcohol post-wisdom teeth operation) and a French onion soup.

I thought a lot about life today — if it all amounts to the utilitarian view of maximizing utility or happiness or if it was more of a nihilistic nothing-truly-matters situation.

I haven’t stumbled across any real answers personally, but I do know that the little things in life make life worth living. Things like grabbing food with friends or holding hands with my s/o or appreciating nature with friends and family — those are the things that drive my existence.

I guess I have lived according to a carpe diem philosophy. There shouldn’t be anything stopping you from living the life you wish to live.

(Even if it means sleeping for 15+ hours of the day to recover from wisdom teeth-related pain.)

I remember an episode of OITNB where Alex Vause had a tattoo that said “Love is pain.” And I’ve realized the truth behind what John Green said when he said things hurt because they mattered. And things related to love matter. The people you love most are those who are able to inflict the most pain, unfortunately, because in the act of becoming more emotionally vulnerable to them, they’re able to hurt you where it hurts most.

But life’s not only about pain and suffering. There’s beauty in the small things that constitute what your everyday life is like, be it homecooked meals or handwritten sentimental notes or cards from friends or whatever.

And while I may question again and again the decisions I make throughout life, I just trust that whatever experiences I undergo will be ultimately worth it.

There are valuable life lessons in virtually anything you do — you merely have to look for them.

And maybe I live my life a little too hedonistically sometimes, but maybe that’s not the most terrible way to live either.

The act of pursuing happiness is a miserable one in and of itself. The act of appreciating the simple gifts in life is what is embodied by the idea of truer, lasting happiness. (Or contentment, in other terms)

And while my toothaches may hurt for a little while, this too shall pass.

All things pass throughout time. But the only thing that can withstand the test of time is the way you choose to frame your life experiences.

So as my friend and I have said, “You can’t choose the batter life gives you, but you can choose your own waffle iron.”

Learn to make the most of your experiences.

Humble yourself to learn from them.

And it will all have been for the better.