Day 79

Xine Way
Xine Way
Jul 21, 2017 · 2 min read

I went on two double dates yesterday, and both were lots of fun!

For the first one, I went to Bond Park with my boyfriend, my friend, and the guy she was dating. We rented out a pedal boat and pedaled out to the middle of the lake. It was hella hot but lots of fun.

After that, my boyfriend and I went to Raleigh to meet up with his friend and his friend’s girlfriend. We ate a quick dinner at Chik Fil A and then watched Dunkirk.

The movie had me sitting at the edge of my seat for most of it. I wish I’d known more about the history of Dunkirk before watching the movie, though. The cinematography and the way it captured how different people experienced the war were impeccable. But it reminded me exactly how pointless I thought war was — so many people die for what seems like no reason whatsoever. And they died in all sorts of ways: at the bottom of ships, drowning, being set on fire due to explosions, from bombs from above, and more. The drowning part to me seemed the most miserable, but overall, it just seemed like pointless violence.

Even if people supposedly “win” in war, I don’t think either side wins when people are dying on both sides.

But it reminded me, too, of exactly how fragile the human body is. And how life is made so much more valuable because of the multitude of ways in which we can possibly die.

It’s death that puts life into perspective, in a way.

Yesterday, I watched this one TED talk about planning out your fears.

It was given by a guy who had considered committing suicide but turned his life around by practicing stoicism. (Though I’m not entirely sure what that is, to be entirely honest.)

He touted fear-setting as opposed to goal-setting: finding ways in which, during the times you’re paralyzed by inaction, you’re able to do something to allay your fears.

He put it succinctly in a few words: “Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”

I thought that was particularly relevant given my recent decision to quit Bojangles. Prolonging quitting would have led to so much more misery and hardship in my life, suffering that I could most certainly do without.

But all the same, if life were completely easy, it’d be dreadfully boring.

I like where I’m at now. As one friend put it, I’ve got a job, a boyfriend, friends I can count on, and strong relationships with my family. So I’ve really got it all now, even if the job I’m doing now is just a temporary summer thing.

I’ve got another long day of bagging groceries ahead of me, but I’ll post more later on how today goes! Got home too late last night to post about my double dates and whatnot.

Bye!

)

Xine Way

Written by

Xine Way

Artist who thinks and feels out loud

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