Be What You Say…Not What You Think You Should Say (Day 5)
This might seem like to shock to you, person who is exactly the same way they portray themselves on dating apps and actually follows the advice they give to others, but some people don’t exactly match their life resumé. They don’t actually speak three languages, volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club once a week or stop gossip from spreading when they hear it because that would be the “mature” thing to do. Remember that rumor about you having a third nipple that smelled like bad motor oil? Yeah, that Boys and Girls Club volunteer actually started it. Surprise.
In other words, *clears throat to shout*: “THEY’RE. FAKE”
*Gasp* (End Scene)
Maybe using the word “fake” is a little bit over dramatic. But we live in a society where saying one thing and doing the other is almost expected (and accepted) as the norm instead of the exception (I know ya’ll see the wordplay: Expected, accepted, exception? *Insert fire emojis*). People say that they prefer if others were straightforward and honest with them instead of hearing it through the grapevine. Sounds good, right? A society where we are all straightforward with our thoughts and feelings toward one another and can talk things out in a civil, mature way like reasonable adults. The only problem is people will say that word for word…and then go do the exact opposite by telling everyone else but the person they have the problem with.
The fact is, we live in the Age of the Internet, where we have to constantly walk on eggshells so as to not offend one of the millions of segmented groups in the world. The only problem is that everything is pretty much going to offend someone, so the faster we accept that, the faster we can be honest with one another and solve problems. Because it happens everywhere in our lives: at the academic level, professional level, and recreational level. It baffles me when I hear that my friend has a problem with a coworker and then will smile ALL IN THEIR FACE like they’re expecting to be one of their future groomsmen.
We’re fake with each other because of two main reasons. One, most people are actually very sensitive when it comes to criticism and can’t take it without it affecting the relationship with the messenger. It’s so easy to hide behind a profile and social media handle, that we can fire away at complete strangers without having to experience any real pushback. So when we actually experience real-life criticism, we think the person is being “mean” or a “hater”. Two, we say that we like someone being straightforward about issues with us but then don’t know how to communicate in a straightforward fashion towards anyone else. Instead, we’ve learned how to communicate in Morse code just so we don’t have to say what we really mean and then leave it for everyone else to pull out their telegraphs to decode. Samuel Morse created Morse Code in the 1830s beloved, let’s keep it that way.
(Disclaimer: No, I’m not talking about actual Morse Code. However, if you’re using that to insult your coworkers, friends, and rec league teammates, then your creativeness is inspiring and I respect your level of pettiness.)
Now, I’m not saying you have to be confrontational about your issues. This isn’t reality TV and no one is paying to see you give those fiery hands to the old lady in the cubicle across from you who was talking mad spicy the other day. But, the way we say something can ameliorate a hostile situation. Tone is key to everything that we say in life. The same sentence can have multiple meanings just based on the way that we actually say it. In addition, expression/body language can be the difference in letting the person either know that you’re frustrated with something they did but want to talk it or if Michael Buffer is about to introduce you out of the red corner. Find the right tone for the right situation and you’ll live happily ever after. Cliché as it might be, at least you can say you tried to address the problem before you give Gertude a 2-piece combo with an extra biscuit.
Ultimately, this isn’t a fairy tale Snow White, so some people still may just not respond well to whatever you have to say that. But at least people will respect you for how you treat others and will (hopefully) treat you the same. Don’t say one thing and then do another. Own your truth, whatever that may be, because people are going to see through you one way or another. And being an honest, respectable person is better than being Taylor Swift.
*Cue LMFAO’s “Shots”*
And let me end this by saying that I’m not trying to throw any shade at anyone in particular. This is just meant to be a general statement about life and the way we live it. After all, only 2.5 people actually read these blogs anyway. But like Drake said:
You know, a lot of people be
Thinking my blogs are about them, but
This is not to get confused
This one’s for you
But I’m not a rapper.