Disrupt Your Life
I strongly disagree with Social Darwinism. I am more a supporter of the basic income ideology, even though I do realise that it will take humanity a couple more hundred years to be mentally fit to transition from the current ego-driven society to a greater-good one. (good luck, Canada, I hope you’ll prove me wrong).
Earlier today I apparently passed a judgement on poor people, by sharing something that someone who is a social darwinist said. My context is different though, and my interpretation as well.
I am aware how extremely difficult it is to take risks when you are in a very difficult financial situation. I don’t even know if it is wise to do so, even though in most cases a disruption in life is the best decision one can make when things go so bad… you can’t expect to be doing the same and expect improvement to just *happen* to you.
However, I do believe that it is a lot easier for a lot of people to find comfort in warm waters, rather than start swimming upstream. I’ve been there, and I know how long it took for me to get in the right mindset to change my context. I’ve done it quite a few times, it never gets easier, but the outcome always turns out better after a period of struggle — let’s call it the “WTFJH Stage” (as in wtf just happened), during which most people who do shake things up lose everything (family, job, money, etc., you know the list).
This stage starts when you stop waiting for a better day to disrupt your comfort, and decide to throw a rock in your life’s calm waters ($$$) or swamp (-$). That’s when magic happens, and by magic I mean buckle up, shit’s about to get real!
The WTFJH Stage is where you really get to know yourself and what you are capable of. I believe THIS is where strong people are being forged, by passing or failing the tests of:
- How do you deal with not having money? Expanding the answer to this = different article. It’s complex.
- How well do you cope with not having the life you are working for “right now”? Patience is a virtue. Bitchy one, but still a virtue :)
- How is your relationship with your significant other when you are (both) under stress? Blaming is the most common behaviour => breakup is the rule.
Some would add “How well do you deal with social pressure?” Meh, grow up already, this is not highschool anymore :)
Projects do not fail. People fail. Depending on your ability to adapt, your openness to learning and your attitude while going through the WTFJH Stage, your project / startup will succeed or fail.
Most people fail one or more of these tests and take these failures personal. Then they try to go back to where they started, having lost what little they had before they took the risk, disregarding the fact that life is like a book — once you interrupt reading it right in the middle of a chapter and start reading a different book, returning to the initial one usually means that you have to start the chapter all over again, and sometimes even start the whole book from the beginning.
Also, misinterpreted failure leads to spreading fear, in order to keep others from succeeding where we failed. That’s how you end up with so many amazing people being so afraid of adventuring into the uncomfortable life of entrepreneurship. When one hears the story of “I lost my wife, car, high income, and my startup failed, and now I can’t even get a job and no one is helping me” over and over again, the natural response is “I don’t want that to happen to me!”. We each have our own story, though! Don’t live other people’s lives.
A bunch succeed in building a different life. Some get their egos so high in the process of survival that, in my view, they failed the real test, the one of becoming a better human.
Others, just a few, become amazing, weird, quirky people, misunderstood by most but respected by all, eccentric and experienced / knowledgeable enough that they are being looked up to and have real impact on the world around them. Wealth happens to these people, also.
The secret to see in which category you belong to, however, is to start doing…Not tomorrow, but now. Take a pencil and start writing down your dreams, and start thinking about them as goals, instead of dreams. You want to start your own business? You want to write a novel? You want to become an investor? If you don’t know what you want, there’s your first task: figure it out!
If you already know what you want, why not just start doing it? It is our primordial subconscious mind that wants us to stay safe and not change our context, as change is being seen as a threat to our existence. So we find obstacles and not even get to the WTFJH Stage. We get self-overwhelmed, so we decide to do it later, instead of getting in the growth mindset of “bring it on, obstacles have nothing on me, and I will learn so much in the process”.
Yep, you might lose everything, but that will be a fixed moment in time that will pass, and it’s up to you as to how you move passed it. Moan about it, give up and hide into a corner blaming life for being a bitch and the world for not placing at your disposal whatever you need to succeed, OR assume the responsibility and consequences, buckle up even tighter, and keep going while crying your eyes out and fight really hard against your given condition.
We’re not all meant for this, and we are not all strong enough or willing to go through the WTFJH Stage. For some it’s easy, as they have the resources necessary to take risks and will never understand what the hell I am talking about in this post. Some people just don’t care about this madness, and are happy within the established social conventions (9–5, once a year holiday, etc. Some days I wish I was, too). Others, the unhappy ones, have to struggle and find the courage to stop living in their perfect tomorrow, and start accomplishing today the potential they know they have.
To those of you who decide to go through with it, no matter the outcome: I salute you!