[Honest ad review] Critical Commentary on Rexona ad

Today, we are going to do the critical analysis of a soap brand advertorial but first some thoughts.

I have watched a decent number of Tamil and Telugu movies in my life and had it not been my tendency to stay politically correct in public then I would have surely concluded two things with conviction by now.

First, South Indian blokes love women’s belly more than the viruses and bacterias that cause diarrhea

I mean, I can bet if you can point me at least one movie in which heroine’s acting has got more screen time than her mid-riff and particularly navel show. Speaking of acting, no offence, again it is mostly nothing but crying, navel flaunting, crying again and shaking legs with the hero, of course navel shaking more than the rest of the body. I won’t be surprised if someday they start listing their cast like this.

Cast

Tamanna
Tamanna’s navel
Tamanna’s navel x-ray (cameo)

(And the Filmfare award goes to Samantha’s navel)

Second, South Indian guys, for all the dark badass geniuses and exotic beauties they produce they just can’t get over RGB(255,255,255) skin colour.

I mean look at their heroines 90% of them are north Indians and the remaining are trying hard to look like one. Perhaps there is a fetish of entire India and ironically even some parts of Africa (not kidding) with RGB(255,255,255) skin colour. We can still be pardoned because we have grown watching fair n lovely ad which told us that only gori-nikhri-twacha-wali-larkiyaan can touch the sky and take selfie with Elon Musk, rest can all go upload group photo for facebook profile picture.

Anyway, speaking of fairness, although every every critic who gave SRK’s Dilwale more than 0 rating deserves to be sent to Al Qaeda in an American Flag t-shirt and George Bush tattoo, I could have still made my conscience watch it if not for this thing:

“I mean, after I am done bullshitting on women empowerment for the #nayisoch, #darkisbeautiful, #womenempowerment and other pretentious hashtags let me just conveniently throw everything out of the window and get plastic surgery done.”

Okay, the subject of our critical analysis is this ultra-shitty ad by Rexona.

The ad starts with what it seems like two models-turned couples are out for some quality time together. The wife then asks his husband to take a photo together but our douchebag who clearly seems to be doing a favour to his wife by being her husband coarsely rejects her.

Anyway, our saree-clad, midriff-revealing, homely, obedient, submissive, religious, RGB(255,255,255) wifey who is clearly used to the douchebaggery of her husband doesn’t mind it a bit.

How could she? To answer back your husband you should be wearing tight-jeans no?

So, our wifey doesn’t take a selfie for some reason and requests a bystander to take a picture (who is not surprisingly also a RGB(255,255,255) girl). I really want to know where these ad makers live.

Now, the situation is tense, husband is a douchebag, wifey wants a picture. So to convince our ‘husband’, the wifey gives him one touch on his arm and boom! The guy is all turned on, like it’s not his wife but Sasha Grey touched her, not on the arm and also not with the hand.

I mean really, the guy who gets turned on by a lady’s touch should see a therapist and if that guy is a husband then we really have a situation from various perspectives. But eventually, not being able to come up with any sensible reasoning it leads me to speculate that our poor husband, although married, tough and douchebag on the outside, is a virgin. Yes, tell me if you have a better explanation.

Meanwhile, our other girl who is busy taking photos like a pro gets all mind-fucked trying to comprehend everything and interrupts them and tells them to fuck-off and find a new idiot.

Ad over.

So ladies if you want to sex up your marital life with a douchebag, have an hourglass tummy, get RGB(255,255,255) skin-colour without plastic surgery you know what you need to do.