Kitchen-capades with Cynthia

Lying in bed considering making a breakfast casserole that’s pretty involved, I was convinced that I had thought through the details carefully and this should go without major incident. Remember, I have to do everything with a limited use, left hand and arm. Should you ever want to have your very own episode of Kitchen-capades, put your one of your hands in your pocket and keep it there throughout your cooking project.

Step 1. Get oversized recipe binder out of the top of the pantry. (I’ve actually mastered this after a couple of times of pulling too quickly and raining a shelf full of large and small cookbooks, a stack of disposable aluminum pans, a pizza transfer thingy and my trusty old hand mixer down upon my head and shoulders.)

Step 2. Find the recipe in this overstuffed and once upon a time organized (those were the days) binder of computer printed recipes.

Step 3. Gather the ingredients.

Step 4. Measure out the Egg Beaters and milk into large mixing bowl. (Said bowl had to be pulled out of the dishwasher and wiped out of yesterday’s cookie batter residue. Don’t judge. You know you’ve done it too.)

Step 5. Empty large container of cottage cheese into egg and milk. Note: It’s best to scoop it out of the container and into the bowl. However, it’s not as funny and spectacular as tipping the whole container over the mixing bowl and watching the giant ball of cottage cheese cannonball into liquid egg mixture.

Step 6. Swear under your breath as you pull the last three paper towels off the roll and slide egg goo across the counter into the sink. At least it didn’t land in the floor.

Step 7. Scoop 1/3 cup of margerine into a smaller bowl. Don’t try to level it with a knife edge, or you’ll neatly slice approximately one Tablespoon of soft margerine onto aforementioned floor. Sigh.

Step 8. Pick up soft mound of margerine and toss into sink with egg goop.

Step 9. Add softened cream cheese to margerine. Cover with paper plate and microwave on LOW for 3 minutes. Last week my husband, NOT ME, tried softening a stick of hard butter on a medium setting. He did not cover it. The butter exploded. He cleaned a half a cup of butter out of the microwave. My microwave was very clean for almost two days. So, I softened my mixture on LOW and covered it. At least I avoided one mess.

Step 10. Grate brick of Monterrey Jack cheese. (Also requires some practice to avoid grated fingernails & skin. Just sayin’.)

Step 11. Add cheese and softened margerine mixture slowly and carefully to large bowl of egg mixture.

Step 12. Sift 1/2 cup of flour and 1 tsp of baking powder into mixture. Carefully stir the whole mess…I mean casserole until everything is suitably mixed together.

Step 13. Pour into casserole pan that has been sprayed with non-stick spray.

Step 14. Holler at your husband to bring some paper towels to the kitchen and put the casserole in the oven. Because that sucker probably weighs 10 pounds and it would take several rolls of paper towels to clean up that kind of a spill!

Step 15. Clean kitchen.

This concludes today’s episode of Kitchen-capades with Cynthia. Join us next week for how to make Christmas candy and not break every dish in the house.

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