RIGHT INTENTION, WRONG DECISION
“Aren’t you eating with me?” I ask. “I’m sorry but I don’t feel well at all.” she replied as she quickly headed to the bedroom.
I sat there and stared at her as she walked off.
Who is she kidding? She knows I can tell when she is lying. Great, first week back from our honeymoon and already it begins! If I wanted to eat alone I would of stayed single! It’s because of that stupid argument we had last night. I can’t believe she is still mad about me wanting to put a TV in the bedroom! She knows how hard it is for me to fall asleep. Having a TV for background noise helps! She is being so insensitive. So this is going to be her way of getting back at me — leaving me to eat dinner by myself? Man this is stupid! At least she didn’t feed me some crappy frozen food.
I sat there and took a deep breath staring at my dinner plate. I didn’t even realize I had eaten more than half the spaghetti. I got up to get a second serving. At least her spaghetti tasted better than her meatloaf. I chuckled.
So what the heck do I do now? Do I leave it alone? Do I go after her? I rubbed my hands through my scalp. Suddenly I felt exhausted and wanted nothing more than to take a nice long shower.
The heck with it! I’m going to sit here, BY MYSELF, and enjoy my dinner, BY MYSELF, then do what she does when she is stressed out — take a long one hour bath!!
I finished my dinner, grabbed my headset and the bottle of wine, then headed towards our bedroom but turned around and decided to use the guest bathroom.
Last thing I need before my “manly” bath is to get into another argument.
“Aren’t you eating with me?” I heard him ask the very words I was dreading. I stopped cleaning the kitchen and practically ran to our bedroom. I don’t even remember what I answered him.
I ran to the bathroom, locked the door, and barely made it to the toilet as I felt the vomit ready to burst forth from the dam that was holding it back. The more I thought about what I had done, the more vomiting I did, till there was nothing left but dry heaves. I sat back on the cold tile, holding my stomach, and rocked back and forth.
What have I done?! How could I do that to him?! Three weeks into our marriage and I….UGH!! I can’t even think about it! He probably thinks I am still mad about that stupid argument we had last night.
My body once again broke down the dam but this time it was tears that burst forth. I felt like such a failure. I wanted so bad for this night to be the perfect “kiss and make up” night. I even went and bought the TV he wanted.
That STUPID TV. If it wasn’t for that TV none of this would have happened.
I tried so hard to get everything ready before he came home. I tried SO HARD to get everything PERFECT! Never again, NEVER AGAIN will I leave spaghetti sauce uncovered on the counter!! Who even said women are perfect multitaskers?
I have to tell him. Maybe he won’t take it so hard? After-all, my intentions were totally legit. He’ll be so pleased with the TV that he will overlook….UGH!!! I can’t even think about it!
I took a deep breath which hurt my already aching mid-section. I got up quickly and headed back to the dining room before I talked myself out of it.
His plate was on the table but he wasn’t. I noticed he ate most of the spaghetti. “Tom?” No answer. “TOM!” He wasn’t in the living room. Walking into the guest bedroom, I noticed the bathroom door closed but the light was on. I slowly walked towards the bathroom door. “Tom,” I called, my voice barely a whisper as I knocked on the door. Still no answer. I tried turning the knob but it was locked. I was now in a full blown panic and started banging on the door. “TOM!! ANSWER ME!!!” OH NO! WHAT HAVE I DONE?! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!?
I ran to the phone and called my best friend. “Hello?” Sally answered. “Sally, Sally I need help! I did something awful! I think I poisoned Tom. Oh Sally, what have I done?!” I wailed.
“What happened?” came back the frantic response. “Sally, I had no idea we had so many. I knew we had some but not that many! Sally, I forgot that I used a highly concentrated spray a few days ago to try to get rid of them! I tried to take them out of the spaghetti sauce but there were too many and Tom was almost home! Sally, I didn’t know what to do! OH…What have I done?!”
“PAM!! CALM DOWN! What are you saying?”
“SALLY….I FED TOM ROACHES!!” I cried out and turned to see Tom standing there with a towel wrapped around his waist.