Day two: The coworkers think I’m still one of them. I can still blend in, I can still play the part of the concerned Customer Service Representative, but it’s all a façade, and soon I’ll be breaking out of Hell.
Not that my particular job is Hell, mind you. Any job is Hell when you have a passion for something and you’re stuck doing something else. Haven’t we all been there? Isn’t that what leaps of faith are all about?
Normally at this point I’d expect to be feeling a bit of existential dread, like I should fear this big life decision I’m about to make, especially since it’ll be daunting financially for the first little while, but I’m not particularly anxious at all.
Instead, I’m excited. I spent the morning trimming up my Patreon profile, adding new goals and rewards, and trimming up my mission statement. In the afternoon I met with an old friend for lunch and coffee, and because of the company and atmosphere I spawned a dozen new story ideas, just waiting to be told. In the afternoon, I got some sleep . . . yeah, okay, so it wasn’t all productive, but sleep is a necessary evil.
Unless the muse says otherwise, muahahaha!
But seriously, to anyone who is considering taking a risk for art? Do it. I can speak from personal experience that the moment you start throwing yourself 100% behind something is the moment you’re able to really see how much you can accomplish. I’ve already found myself more motivated than I’ve been in years.
And I can see the destination ahead of me, that bend of light where the mysteries of the unknown will unfold before me. The future holds answers to questions I haven’t even begun to ask yet, and I’m eager to find them.
But I also see the journey, and, difficult as it may seem to scale these cliffs, I know that the sunset I’ll be rewarded with at the summit will be unparalleled in its beauty and scope. I seek the art in things, I want to experience cosmic beauty in all of its fulness.
And I know I’m finally on the path to get there, and I know without a doubt that I’ll make it to the end, because I have traveling companions greater than anyone could ever ask for.
To all my friends and family who have been a part of my journey, I hope you have enjoyed my company as much as I have enjoyed yours. May we see each other in the future, around that bend of light which holds invisible treasures for all of us.
And, for the record, being randomly optimistic isn’t all that fucking bad.
Peace and Love
Samuel D. Roe (Cynus)
Written on 7–17–2017
P.S. You know what? Since you read this far, it’s only fair I let you in on a little secret. Did you know I write fiction? Did you also know I have a Patreon and would love your support? You can find out more about both of these items here: https://www.patreon.com/Cynus
This post brought to you by my amazing Patrons: Bill, James, Paul, Joe, Mark, Charles, Amr, Mark, Steve, Don, and Jos.