what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didnt show?

i keep busying

myself to hanging out

with people i trust

just to make me

stay conscious

yes, i am not healed yet

ive been contacting everyone

i usually rather spend my time alone

i never felt lonely

i never felt i need somebody

i love being alone

but now

i need distraction

to not drowning into my own thoughts

bc i know

deep down in my heart

all i want is him

his time

his attention


but time is a bitch

he seems

he dont want to be bothered

i feel like i am toxic for him

what should i do?


i am lonely
— for you only
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