The Oozing d00B Reviews Overwatch

Back before I was kicked out of the University of Phoenix online for tardiness (whatever that it), I use to cry a lot. Why? Cause like, I was sad I guess. No one wanted to play with me. Videogames, pogs, Tummysticks…I had to play everything alone.

So when I heard about Overwatch and the idea of playing on a team because that’s the only way to play, I was super excited. Imagine a world where I was not only playing with other people, but one where they were forced to play with me. A world where there mom can’t tell me I can’t play with them anymoer because they’re afraid of the fires. A game where I don’t have to have my cat Bryant Gumbel play on the second controller.

THere’s like 30000 people you can be, like Trashboat, a guy that shoots bombs and reminds me of my uncle Gary. He has this way of really looking into my soul and reminding me that if I tell anyone what happens we’ll both get into a lot of trouble. I learned a lot from the summer I spent in uncle Gary’s woodshed and I learned a lot from Trashboat.

Overwatch is the kind of game where even if you aren’t pro level like myself you can still be like a cool dude (or dudette. I’m not here to tell people how to live their life). There’s a giant monkey or “bear” as my uncle Gary might say. He’s pretty cool and his name is winston and he throws down a shield and jumps far.

Bunch of other characters too, like a ninja thing and a hot dog vendor name of road hog. I don’t think i’d eat from his cart, but like, a good tube steak is a good tube steak.

It’s a good game that makes me think about how happy I am to finally have a family that is forced to stay around.

FINAL ANALYSIS: 5/10.

SUBMITTED TO METACRITIC

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.