in SEARCH mode…

My name is d8niel. Today is the last day of July in 2016 and I feel the need to let out my thoughts. The reason for this blog is to just really use it whenever I feel like talking to someone. I’m 34 and I sit here today looking back at the 34 years of my life.

I’ve held several jobs since I was old enough to work and I must say I have not yet found my true passion in life. When I was younger, I had no idea that I would be 34 and not know my true calling. Is this normal? Am I alone? Am I picky? Am I stupid? I don’t get it.

I was brought up in a fairly well to do home from a loving family. Went to boarding school, went to a tier 1 college, held decent jobs, yet I’m lost. This doesn’t make sense to me nor is it a good feeling. By nature, I’m an optimist, pretty outgoing, comfortable in my own skin and feel grateful for the many things I’ve been given. Yet, this longing to find my true passion in life is the ultimate homework that I have not been able to address. Why does it seem so hard for me?

I’m naturally a pretty ambitious person and believe people are capable of doing anything they set their mind to. Due to the entrepreneurial spirit in me I’ve tried many things outside of my 9–5 job. From selling items on ebay, starting my own health market, having an online health foods store and also importing products to sell. Needless to say, I’ve experienced a lot of random things that your average 34 year has not. However, all these stints were never a huge hit, they broke even and made a little more but none that was a run away success. Was it my lack of passion, was it a lack of skill, lack of luck or just something that wasn’t meant to work out.

I know this much, the many jobs I’ve held, the few side projects I’ve launched all have contributed to ME in some way. Whether it was an outcome I did’t want, looking back, every single experience has helped me become who I am today. I am grateful yet feel lost at the same time. I am still in search mode.

I know I have it in me to build something to contribute to society before my time comes to an end, but what exactly is it? I don’t want to waste my time on planet Earth working in a place where the sole purpose of my very attendance is to pay my bills. When will I find my answer. I pray that the answer will come soon.