There are times that I wonder “is it just me or…?” but then I look around at the choices you make and how they pan out. (They) so tragic and sad. (They) so broken inside. So damaged. So tarnished, by life.

Sometimes I wonder if it would pay more dividends for me to be less than, to be weak or a fool…To make you see me, is that what it takes? Do I need to become like (them)… Less than, small, powerless? But that’s not me…and it never will be.

It’s too bad that you need to settle for less to fell good about yourself. (They) will never be able to give you what I can. Disappointing more still is that I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve never stopped. Sadder still is that I can’t get you out of my head. I know that you don’t care. You can’t not feel my heat burning for you…can’t not see it when I’m near you. You can’t. And maybe that’s the reason…But it isn’t is it? No…it’s not. You see. You saw. You know. My secrets were spilled to you. Remember that day? It was so clear. How could you not see? Not feel? Not know?

I wish I knew how to not let your absence touch me deeply. But you were never really here for me, we’re you? You knew and you let me think, nurtured the hope that one day, maybe.

It’s because your eyes didn’t want to perceive. Your ears refuse to hear what my heart is saying to you. . You know. A blistering heat right in front of you, glowing. Searing. Hot. Waiting. For you…

And still you wont say. Wont hear. Act as if you don’t know.

But you do.

No, you chose (them) every time, (they) a match to my sun. (They) a lighter to my nova. (They) small where I am immense. (They) shallow where I am bottomless. (They) weak where I am herculean. But you choose (them) every time, so cold, so callus and so cruel you are to me.

But I can’t hate you. I’ve tried. I can’t let you go…how could I?

I feel too much…for you.

Want too much…of you.

It’s too much.

My love…for you.