Let me guess…
You messed up again.
You felt insulted when your boss Rowan sidelined your ideas during stakeholder meetings. This has happened a few times in a row. So you went to talk to him about his rude behavior.
In your mind, you had everything scripted. You would act cool and collected, like the smoothest zen master. You would ask him politely to consider the merits of your ideas before turning them down.
But the conversation derailed and heated up. His voice and insulting demeanor triggered you. You snapped.
The rage and frustration inside you gushed out like an…
I wake up at 4.45 am — excitement bubbling within me.
Today I get to work on what I love doing. Just like every other day.
I’ll apply what I learned yesterday and add some brand graphics to my site.
Oh, it’s Saturday. Another of my article goes out today.
Most of the work is done. Just a few more editing touches. Some SEO tweaks.
Now I’m ready to publish to my subscribers. To my Followers. To the world!
There are people out there who actually care about what I have to say! Unbelievable!
And that’s not all.
Let me guess?
You dream of getting noticed in your circles and climbing the social hierarchy.
Because, who doesn’t, right?
You want friends and acquaintances to trust you and depend on you for advice. You aspire to be someone whom they hang on to for every word.
In short, you want to know how to become emotionally mature.
You have emotionally mature role models in your life, and you have seen how they can make others feel comfortable in their skin.
You look up to them. But you feel you haven’t got a chance in hell to be like them.
Imagine that you have a crystal ball.
One that can show you how your current relationship looks like after 10 years.
What will you see?
Will you be still holding hands, completing each other’s sentences?
Or will you be at loggerheads with each other?
Or even worse, will you be living together as two polite roommates, each in their own islands of misery, loneliness, and quiet desperation, unable to connect with each other?
I bet you’d give up a fortune to get your hands on a device like that.
The bad news?
That crystal ball doesn’t exist.
The good news?
Some people seem to have a magic touch…
You meet them, and before you know it, you’ve hit it off with them.
Interactions with them are satisfactory beyond words — almost cathartic. You feel that they are listening to you; that they can see you.
But that’s not all…
They seem to have a bounty of inner resources. They can muster them at will and tackle whatever life puts in their way.
How do they do it?
Well, it isn’t magic.
They draw on their confidence and pause before they react. They are adaptive and are not too concerned about…
You see some people handle uncomfortable conversations like a pro. They seem to have some magic touch — that you don’t.
It’s almost like a Teflon coating; nothing ever sticks on them. They come out unscathed, no matter how tough the conversation gets.
You want to be like them.
After all, it’s not much fun getting mowed down, and being a push-over in conversations. Feeling helpless, swallowing down your views, never being able to get a word out — nobody wants to be in those shoes.
You want to have equal stakes in a conversation, to…
Another year passes by with no progress on your career goals.
No remarkable assignments, no recognitions, no promotion.
You feel unnoticed and invisible at work.
You wonder about the cubicle bays like a mouse scurrying amongst the nooks and crannies in a maze — hoping, praying even, for someone from “those cubicles” to take notice.
The seats of action — where strategies are discussed, decisions are taken, and deals are made.
You long to be a part of those elites….to have a slice of that pie, a part of that sweet sweet bustle.
You know you deserve to…
Be More Assertive
Read any article on winning at life and you’ll see some variation of this advice.
Want to get noticed at work? Be more assertive.
Need a promotion? Be more assertive.
Easier said than done right?
It’s like the oblivious hot guy sharing dating tips: “You want to date that girl out of your league? Just ask her out.”
Well, thanks Reuben, you sexy, blissfully ignorant bastard, but lack of intent isn’t the problem here.
Let’s have a show of hands. Who of us has intentionally declined a promotion or volunteered to remain invisible at work?
Finally! Some solitude!’
Some much needed me time, away from the ever-present demands of work and family!
You look forward to the blessed hour with a rush of anticipation akin to the wait before the arrival of a lover.
But the phone rings.
With mounting dread, you silently mouth a prayer and look at who’s calling. It’s Jeanie — your friend, who always treats you as an on-call emotional garbage dump.
As she riles on about her kids, her work, her husband, you keep an eye on the minutes slipping by — your despair mounting. …
A hurricane raged through my mind.
I waited in a sparsely crowded Pune airport at 3.20 am. The departure was still one hour away. I had bought the penultimate ticket for this flight, at a premium, that afternoon.
Like a river with violent undertow, I appeared, by all means, calm and composed. But inside, I couldn’t dam the distress that flooded me. I felt overwhelmed.
My mother was lying in a nursing home 2000 KMs away, in the small suburb of Serampore — where I grew up.
She lived alone.
Her voice had sounded weak and strained on the phone…