- cosmic brownies have categorically no relation to the cosmos. dammit they are delectable though
- the city bus is 5 parts bus and zero parts city
- let me paint you a picture;
time is 11:07. bedtime imminent. i lay in the security and comfort of a cotton and polyester blend blanket. but then. a thought. why are my eyes blurred ever so slightly?? and the weight of a realization hits me. my eyes, they are filled with contacts. and wait why are these contacts blurring my vision aren’t they supposed to make things more crystal?? so i have to get up. out me eyes and into the gutter. in all, it’s really just a minor inconvenience
- where are all the baby carrots’ parents???
- why do people say “lemme paint you a picture” and then proceed to, in fact, not paint a picture. instead simply continuing to just use words, which are, you guessed it, terribly apart from a picture painted
- should anything last forever??
- cottage cheese CAN be consumed outside of a cottage
- an army man has just proposed to his wife, which gives him extensive knowledge in………….. the rules of engagement
- don’t know if i use words like dilettante because they allow me to more precisely express myself or for the admiration of others??
- why can’t i use a single question mark without feeling serious?
- i hate 2 many things
- dua lipa is the most beautiful girl in the world
- dua lipa please read this
- dua lipa, hello
- homer simpson is a great father
- bullet points are inefficient. why not count the things in your listicle
- but they are visually pleasing
- 2. we lose value in excess

no one in the world can explain this stock photo
- what is the speed of dark
- carrots are intimidating. always pointing at people.
- legally i could have this post taken down because the last bullet is copy-righted content. but the media attention drawn to me during the court case would be great for my profile. so sue me.
- will society evolve to a point where we will copy-right thoughts??
- i’m 100% convinced brands will give you anything you want if you send bitter emails™
- i hope that that evolves to the point where I can subtweet mcdonalds and get a free mcflurry
- mcflurry machine broke
- just like all of us
- mcflurry machine = the human condition
- if i was in a band i would probably play music
- hieronymus bosch and Chris bosh are unrelated, to the untrained eye
- it’s no coincidence that mayonnaise and malaise rhyme
- i should probably tweet these if i ever want to be an influencer. I want to be an influencer mainly so I can sell dumb t-shirts
- i have a fear of abandonment
- also don’t know what an inferiority complex is but i have one
- two jack Nicholsons are not worth the same as one jack dimeson
- here, a peome:
roses aren’t red
- i think this is way too niche
- the average cloud weighs 1 million pounds. i weigh less than that.
- is it wrong to delay the inevitable. i’m thinking about AI world takeover here. and in general.
- I have never had a pizza roll. There are moral reasons why
- a personalized message:
helmlo
- some say sleep is for the weak. i say sleep is for my psychiatrist. he looks tired.
- I do not have a psychiatrist.
- that would be wrong to own another human
- INSURANCE COMPANIES should encounter existential dread. bcuz they should not exist.
- this has gone on too long
- [?(POST OVER):///]]--->
- trying to deal with the ramifications of the thought that everything I believe and am is simply because someone told me to believe that or be that
