thoughts of a highly agitated dilettante

~~what~~

Dylan
Dylan
Aug 28, 2017 · 3 min read

  • cosmic brownies have categorically no relation to the cosmos. dammit they are delectable though
  • the city bus is 5 parts bus and zero parts city
  • let me paint you a picture;

time is 11:07. bedtime imminent. i lay in the security and comfort of a cotton and polyester blend blanket. but then. a thought. why are my eyes blurred ever so slightly?? and the weight of a realization hits me. my eyes, they are filled with contacts. and wait why are these contacts blurring my vision aren’t they supposed to make things more crystal?? so i have to get up. out me eyes and into the gutter. in all, it’s really just a minor inconvenience

  • where are all the baby carrots’ parents???
  • why do people say “lemme paint you a picture” and then proceed to, in fact, not paint a picture. instead simply continuing to just use words, which are, you guessed it, terribly apart from a picture painted
  • should anything last forever??
  • cottage cheese CAN be consumed outside of a cottage
  • an army man has just proposed to his wife, which gives him extensive knowledge in………….. the rules of engagement
  • don’t know if i use words like dilettante because they allow me to more precisely express myself or for the admiration of others??
  • why can’t i use a single question mark without feeling serious?
  • i hate 2 many things
  • dua lipa is the most beautiful girl in the world
  • dua lipa please read this
  • dua lipa, hello
  • homer simpson is a great father
  1. bullet points are inefficient. why not count the things in your listicle
  • but they are visually pleasing
  • 2. we lose value in excess

no one in the world can explain this stock photo

  • what is the speed of dark
  • carrots are intimidating. always pointing at people.
  • legally i could have this post taken down because the last bullet is copy-righted content. but the media attention drawn to me during the court case would be great for my profile. so sue me.
  • will society evolve to a point where we will copy-right thoughts??
  • i’m 100% convinced brands will give you anything you want if you send bitter emails™
  • i hope that that evolves to the point where I can subtweet mcdonalds and get a free mcflurry
  • mcflurry machine broke
  • just like all of us
  • mcflurry machine = the human condition
  • if i was in a band i would probably play music
  • hieronymus bosch and Chris bosh are unrelated, to the untrained eye
  • it’s no coincidence that mayonnaise and malaise rhyme
  • i should probably tweet these if i ever want to be an influencer. I want to be an influencer mainly so I can sell dumb t-shirts
  • i have a fear of abandonment
  • also don’t know what an inferiority complex is but i have one
  • two jack Nicholsons are not worth the same as one jack dimeson
  • here, a peome:

roses aren’t red

  • i think this is way too niche
  • the average cloud weighs 1 million pounds. i weigh less than that.
  • is it wrong to delay the inevitable. i’m thinking about AI world takeover here. and in general.
  • I have never had a pizza roll. There are moral reasons why
  • a personalized message:

helmlo

  • some say sleep is for the weak. i say sleep is for my psychiatrist. he looks tired.
  • I do not have a psychiatrist.
  • that would be wrong to own another human
  • INSURANCE COMPANIES should encounter existential dread. bcuz they should not exist.
  • this has gone on too long
  • [?(POST OVER):///]]--->
  • trying to deal with the ramifications of the thought that everything I believe and am is simply because someone told me to believe that or be that

)
Dylan

Written by

Dylan

my personality is fair use

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