My Pitch for Sainsburys’ New Christmas Advert

I’m very disappointed Sainsbury’s didn’t stick with the war theme this year for their Christmas advert.

I (unsuccessfully) pitched another idea about an unlikely pair of friends set in a factory in Kraków, 1942. Since it was rejected, I suppose it’s lost to the ages…

Okay then, I’ll tell you. Just don’t Justine Sacco me on this.

Fade up.

We pan through the factory as munitions are assembled with precision. Upstairs in an office, a handsome but troubled man searches furiously through papers on his desk.

A knock.

Composing himself, he looks up.

Enter a cruel faced man in full SS regalia. A cold silence falls. He places a package wrapped in brown paper on the desk and slides it toward the man, who holds his gaze with deep intensity.

“Is this for me?”

“Open it”

“Is it… what I think it is?”

“Open it. You will not be asked again.”

The man rips gingerly at the corner of the elegantly wrapped parcel, the paper marred only by a bead of perspiration from his forehead. A small betrayal of body over mind.

“How did you know?”

The package open before him, the worried man beholds it’s contents: a Pukka Pad.

“I saw earlier, you looked like you were trying to Schindle something”

“I was. A list”

“Well in that case… Schindle away, Schindler. Schindle that list.”

The officer turns on his heal and starts toward the door. Music swells, then softens as he turns.

“One more thing Herr Schindler. About that list…”

A tense beat.

“… Check it twice.”

SAINSBURY’S

Oh, no actually, leave the logo off, otherwise it might look crass.