Postpartum Depression Is Real— Tips For Fathers
Preparing for my son’s birth was challenging, but I knew that there were more difficult days ahead. It started off with sleepless nights compounded with SJ’s eczema.
But my wife suffering from depression was mindbogglingly hard. She is experiencing postpartum depression, and it took us a while to truly understand the gravity of the situation. She started out being paranoid about simple utensils around the house and her capabilities as a mother. Then she went into a phase of having dangerous thoughts.
She hasn’t fully recovered, but we are actively finding ways and means to cope. Based on the progress we’ve made, let me share what we’ve learned and also the role we (men) play in the recovery process.
What is Postpartum?
Despite popular belief, postpartum is real! There are reports of mothers trying to harm their families. Case in point: Laura tried to kill her baby and husband.
It is post-birth depression, experienced mostly by new moms. It causes a major increase in powerful emotions such as mood swings, crying spells, anxiety, and challenges sleeping. There is also an extreme form called postpartum psychosis. Learn more about the disorder here.
How I Made Matters Worst.
Men are stubborn — I’m no exception.
Initially, I didn’t think much of my wife’s change in personality. I thought it was just some type of culture shock, since SJ is our first child. She’d often fuss about simple matters. In trying to prevent matters from escalating, I kept my silence but that didn’t help.
I tried to shrug off her mood swings by saying its just a temporary thing. The event went as far as to show her a few duckduckgo search results — to prove my point. Months went by and I was still thinking nothing of it.
Neither approach helped. We ended up having more conflicts and the demand from our son didn’t help.
Where Are We Now?
Due to a combination of activities, I’m proud to say that we’ve made significant progress towards her full recovery. She has return to her former self of being happy and active. Here is what we did to reach this point:
- I’m the baby sitter during the night. Ever since she gave birth, I’m run the night shift. Ensuring she is fully rested reduced the likelihood of waking up feeling super-stressed. I kept my stamina up by using my favorite multivitamin product, Catalyn.
- Keep her active like a quicksilver. It took a while to get her motivated enough to leave the house and do something fun. So I came up with the idea to visit random stores. Somehow that turned into a gym membership. Now she visits the gym constantly yoga and 2k walk.
- The magic of the sauna. I never knew there were benefits of sitting in a hot steamy container. She is more relaxed and her thought process is improving.
- Nutrition instead of medication. This might sound silly, but I’m terrified about my wife developing side effects from prescription drugs. I’m not a doctor, but I come from a family where natural herbs are our primary source of healing.
We utilized nutrition-based supplements given to us by our chiropractor via the Nutrition Response Testing method (will discuss in a future blog post).
- Avoid all forms of conflict. Conflicts is a drag on her mental state and I wasn’t interested in adding more flames to the fire. A few months after giving birth, we made a few changes to our lifestyle which included how we interact with other family members.
- We trust in a higher power. Since we are God-fearing parents, we tap into our source of energy and strength constantly. I believe the Most High help us through some of the most challenging situations.
- Continue to show my appreciation. They always say a woman is like a flower, to make her bloom you should shower her with tenderness and love. I did my fair share to constantly remind her how much she is appreciated. Showing appreciation is apart of our relationship and our situation will not affect that. But reinforcing the point helps build her confidence during these challenging times.
- Self care is very important. On a regular basis she would get her nails done, movies and do “feminine stuff”. Funny story — Friday (Valentine’s day) she went to movies (by herself) and fell asleep in the seat.
I hope these tips help. Feel free to reach out via comment or twitter and I’d be happy to share more details.
Thanks.
