500 words for 500 days (day 4)

Two plus two is four.

minus one is three — quick maths!

I couldn't resist making this little shout out to the best songs of the century. Man’s not hot is the kind of masterpiece that transcends our understanding of music and hip-hop, it is so above everything else that was released in the 21st century that it destroys the mind of unprepared lives those poor souls making them confused and sometimes even angry. Those people are known as the “haters” and their inability to understand that the “thing goes skrrraaah” changes the wiring in their brain so much that it is impossible to go back from that — everything forever changes after you become a hater. You see what they fail to see is that this song is a very deep analysis of the current state of the world and I will give a glimpse on how this song explains EVERYTHING from the complexity of physics and mathematics to the global problems that face us today like global climate change.

To fully understand “Mans not hot” you have to abstract yourself from everything. Your brain must become a completely empty entity, as even the slightest distraction will cause you to lose the absolute focus you must achieve to fully immerse yourself in this masterpiece. Now once you have no brain activity whatsoever you can begin to slowly follow the teachings of the great Big Shaq. First, you have to listen to every possible version of this song, I personally advise to listen to it on the largest, most badass system you can find while sitting in the lotus position somewhere in Nepal. It will take you years and a lot of dedication to complete this first step, but it will be worth it, as only once you have heard all of the different remixes will you be able to see how powerful the lyrics of this song are — the amount of power they hold can make literally anyone into the best DJ ever. Every remix of this song is brilliant just because the original is ABOVE brilliant. Good, now we are getting to the nirvana that comes after the next step.

Now close your eyes. Breathe slowly and tell yourself “I have failed as there would be no way for me to read this if I had truly closed my eyes”. Good, now we have just opened ourselves up to the truth — we are not perfect as only “Mans not hot” is the perfection, and there can never be two perfections. You must humble yourself down to let it truly sink in because this song is not even God, it is what made God — God is just a bad remix of this song. Now you begin to see, it now appears to you, everything becomes clear… You now truly see that two plus two IS four and that only the perfection of this magnitude can begin with an absolute and undeniable truth. After that every word, every sentence is a wisdom that will be discussed for centuries to come, the scholars of the future will divide the entire history of humanity into before and after “Mans not hot”, there will never again be ketchup as there will only be sauce. Raw sauce.

Now I wish I had the right and the blessing of being able to explain to you all of the details and brilliance of this song, but I am afraid that my body will not withstand such power. I am just a mortal, I am not Big Shaq, the Man the legend. The Man’s not hot, he is NEVER hot, so how can we mortals ever compare to the entity who can withstand the heat of billions of suns and not be even hot. We can but worship.

P.S. Seriously though its a great song so do check it out)