Meditators Against Self-Indulgence
Since I was a little kid, my greatest vice has been my impulsiveness. I tend to overindulge in my vices, whether that means eating sugary foods, oversleeping, or rushing my work. I’ve spoken to other people about this and find a common thread among many people who meditate— they often begin their spiritual journey as a reaction to their perceived overindulgence and impulsiveness. Those who are drawn intrinsically to self-discipline are often those who need to work hardest at it.
When you really commit to meditation, it completely changes the way you approach the processes of living and thinking. People who try to commit to meditation with the promise that it will change them often fail to follow through. This is because meditation is hard. It’s really hard, actually. The crux of it is this: meditation is hardest for the people that it is most useful for. What meditation combats in your mind is the same thing that draws you to meditation.
This becomes starkly evident in the midst of sitting. Every time I meditate for 20 minutes, my body begins to grow restless 5–10 minutes in. If I am in an indulgent mood, I will stop at 10 minutes. I will feel a certain sense of disappointment with myself when I do this, because I know what happens if I do commit to the full 20 minutes and push past my impulsiveness. If I decide to stick with it, every minute that passes feels like a victory. My mind grows clearer and clearer. By the end of the 20 minutes, I feel that I have achieved a certain type of self-discipline. This self-discipline, if practiced every day, keeps you in check and revolutionizes your life.
In being an impulsive person, the greatest thing I can do for myself is finding controlled practices through which I can exhibit self-discipline. I am drawn to exercise for the same reason. I can do 3 sets at the gym and then leave and go to McDonalds, but that only perpetuates the mental cycle of laziness. You may not realize it, but your deeper subconscious recognizes when you are being lazy and self-indulgent, and you punish yourself for it through a sense of subtle guilt and shame. In cultivating self-discipline, these qualities of guilt and shame transform into a healthily modest sense of pride over time. This isn’t vain pride— it’s self-respect.
Whether you’re a novice or a seasoned meditator, recognize that the most important part of your practice comes when you want to give up and stop. When you hit that 5 or 10 minute mark and want to call it quits, make a point of overcoming this resistance. It can be really hard to do if your mind is distracted and fractured. But let me tell you— pushing past mental resistance during meditation on a regular basis is a powerful act. Instead of pretending to be strong or disciplined, you can act with a deeply rooted sense of strength and discipline. Pushing through such mental boundaries cultivates a profound inner-strength, a solid core. I notice it when I devote energy to following through with my meditation sessions.
No one’s perfect, and so everyone encounters various forms of mental resistance throughout their days. In developing self-respect and self-discipline in meditative practice, you make a statement to both yourself and the world at large: you are willing to commit. You’re willing to push past obstacles and do what you can with what you have. Simple as it may be, this is an incredibly powerful message to send to yourself. Good luck.
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